Please bear with me I am using Reddit on my phone and I’m still fuming over everything.

To make my childhood a long story short. My bio parents had me in high school and hated each other the entire pregnancy and for my entire childhood. They’ve only recently started to talk to each other in the last past 5 years. I am my Dad’s 1st born/Eldest daughter and I am my Mom’s last child/ youngest daughter. I have 13 siblings between my parents 2 from my mom and 11 from my dad.I bring up that they hated each other because this is the reason I am the only child they have together, and the reason neither one of them wanted to raise me. My mom and dad have said things a can’t even mention here to me all while under the age of 8. Now, my grandparents (my bio dad’s parents)have been the ones to raise me and support me for my entire life.My bio mom’s parents died before I was even born so I don’t know them or most of my mom’s side of the family. I was raised basically as a sibling to my aunts due to how young my dad had me (17). My grandparents aren’t perfect but they raised me the best they could and have been a solid foundation for me. Honestly I always refer to them as my real parents to everyone outside of my family. If I were to list every horrible thing my bio parents have done to me this thread would be longer than The Nile River 🙄. But here are a few to drive my point. For context both of them are “users” if you can’t take a hint as to why anyone above the age of 40 would be jobless and mentally regressing into a child.. 1. They have stolen from me. My parents have been stealing and selling my things for years. My dad recently stole my gaming laptop to buy a text to Austin, TX because a dealer with lower prices lived there. My mom steals my clothes and swears I’m the one copying her fashion style? For context my aesthetic falls under alternative kid that never grew out of that phase. So yeah why would I be the one copying an almost 50 year old woman with a fashion style 20 years her junior?! 2. Abuse Straight to the point my mother is the reason I can’t see properly out of my left eye.Had to wear a lovely little eyepatch for the first 3-5 months of my 6th grade year.My father literally taught me how to steal from stores and how to lie to avoid trouble. I was 8-9 years old helping him steal body wash to sell on the street 🤦🏾‍♀️. 3. Lack of knowledge. Neither of my parents know how old I am. I can’t make this up. My dad thinks I’m 24 and my mom thinks I’m 26. I am 28 years old?!? How can’t you not math my age correctly when you both had me as teens? Neither of them knows a singular thing about me without the help of my grandparents 😐.

Those aren’t even the tip of the iceberg with those two. So now that I’ve made my history with them a bit clear let me show where my grandparents lie in this.

My grandparents are your traditional Southern Baptist with traditional views. Blood is thicker than water is one of the favorite phrases. My grandparents always forgive my dad and mom when they do them wrong.

Bio dad steals their money?

“I’ll pray from him he must have really needed the money”

Bio mom damages their car?

“Well she is going through a lot. I won’t press charges we can just pray about it.”

The list goes on and on. They truly wish for me to have a relationship with these people all for the sake of family? But I don’t see them as family I just see one as an egg holder and the other as a sperm donor. I don’t care about them being on a better path now I don’t care about them wanting a connection with me. I lived with my bio dad’s parents in his childhood and the numbers times he came to see me are in the single digits over the 16 years I lived there.

But for some strange reasons my grandparents are under the belief that I need to have a relationship with them. That I need to extend an olive branch. This brings me to the reason for my post.

Yesterday I received a three way call from my grandparents. My grandpa has the flu and has been in bed for 3 days due to that. So they were calling in to check in on me and keep me updated with grandpa’s health. Midway through the call my grandpa brings up me talking with me dad. He asked me when was the last time you spoke to him. I told him I hadn’t spoken to him in months. He asked why, and I simply told him that I saw no reason to be in contact with him since the only reason he contacts me is to ask for money. This apparently upsets my grandpa and he basically goes on this mini rant about being connected as a family and being connected with my parents. My grandma remained quiet for most of the rant only adding a “mhm” and “ yes” every other sentence. Now I truthfully have no idea where this rant was coming from since it’s a well-known fact in my family that I don’t hang around my dad. After thinking over the call, I soon realized that my grandparents are probably thinking that if I were to have a better connection with my dad, I would be able to help him get over his addiction. To be completely honest, whenever I speak with him, I don’t speak to him respectfully because I don’t respect him, and he often says that he always feels disrespected when I speak to him. I have heard him tell my grandma that the fact that I don’t want a relationship with him makes him feel the need to use the things that he uses. Which, if that is the case, it is not my responsibility as the child that you did not raise to reach out to you, and build a relationship I feel like that should be the responsibility of the parent. Y’all can judge me if you want, but that is a hill I am willing to d*e on.

Fast forward to today during my lunch break. I received another three-way call but this time it was with my bio dad and my bio mom. This confused me because they shouldn’t have my number because I don’t even have their number and that was something I did on purpose. I have changed my number so they couldn’t have access to me. Which meant that more than likely my grandma and my grandpa gave them my number. Right after I say hello and realize who I’m talking to they start with “You don’t reach out to us enough. We feel like you don’t love us or care about us.” All I could think was how do people have this much audacity? They call me to complain about a lack of relationship as if they have ever apologized for a single thing they have a done. They have shown no true change from what I’ve been told and see on their social medias. They are the same people I knew as a child/teen. I’m not even mad at them anymore because I’ve accepted years ago that this is who they’ll always be. As for my grandparents they are stuck in the delusion that they will become better people but like come on. They have been doing the same thing since they were teenagers and now they are approaching 50! Now they are giving them ways to get in contact with me and if I’m being honest with myself they have been more pushing about this lately. I’m wondering if I should just go low or no contact with them. I love my grandparents with all my heart but my distain for my bio parents as starting to tip the scales. They have done so much for me and are one of my few safe spaces I have left, but I just don’t now how much more of this can I take. Before anyone asks yes I have made my feelings clear to them both, but they are the forgive and forget types of people….Would I be the AH if I just went no contact? Is there a better way to handle this? Any advice is welcome.