Me and my (18f) boyfriend (19m) just hit our one year mark. I've always been alternative, especially in my looks. When I met my boyfriend, I had bright pink hair and a huge nose double nose ring. I've been dyeing my hair and listening to all sorts of alt music from goth to black metal since middle school. So none of these things about me are new to my boyfriend.

Before getting together, my boyfriend and I had a mutual friend, who kind of set us up. When we had just started talking, I sent our friend pictures of myself with a septum piercing filter and asked if I would look good with it and if my bf would like it. That friend shared those with my bf and reported back to me that he said I looked cute in the photos. About a month into us being official, I ended up getting my septum pierced.

It wasn't until maybe 4-6 months later that I brought up the conversation I had with our friend to my bf, who told me he actually told our friend that the piercing would look gross. This really hurt my feelings because I already had the piercing and thought he liked it, but I just let it go because that comment was in the past. That also wasn't the first negative comment he made about piercings in general, but it was the first that directly attacked my appearance and my piercings.

Because I'm a full-time student and I work, its become harder and harder for me to dress the way I would like to. I also had to dye my hair black because of a bad bleach job so I've just been feeling really bland recently. This feeling is something that I've expressed to my bf and I've talked about getting a piercing. I really have been wanting a lip piercing and he has been adamantly against it. His original argument was that he wouldn't like feeling it when he kisses me, and he wouldn't like the feeling. Now it's just become "I'm against piercings and always have been." I've known this fact, but its always been something that hurt my feelings. If he was against something I did and knew I wanted to continue doing, why would he get with me at all?

I don't drive, so I asked him if he would take me to get my vertical labret and he said no. That he wouldn't stop me, but he wouldn't help me or support me doing this because he doesn't like it. I was really upset by this because he knows that not helping me IS stopping me. I'm honestly really hurt because I think I deserve to be supported. I wont force him to like everything about me but he should at least help and support my decisions and be happy for me, at least in this little thing.

So am I the asshole for telling him "support me or we're over"?