I 20 Mixed Black & White male have been with 21 Pakistani girlfriend for 2 years now and everything is great, I love her deeply and she’s a positive addition to my life. The only problem we face is my friends, they are all white. I’ve been friends with these people since I was 11 in high school. They make crude, racist, homophobic and misogynistic jokes. While I used to take part in these acts I have more in recent times lost taste for this way of thinking. My Gf who is Bi sexual doesn’t approve of such jokes. My friends have been rude to her on several occasions even to my face as well not intentionally in their words but still and have said racist and homophobic things in the main group chat. I have remained complacent about it, to my regret. Conflicted, I have spend months trying to convince my miss’ and tbh the better part of myself that it’s just a joke and these guys ain’t actually bad people but she thinks differently. She has distanced herself more recently and doesn’t speak to them, I however still do. I have said to I don’t like what they say but she saids i can’t like what they say and still speak to them. She feels excluded from them since she spoke about the way they joke and tbh I think so too while writing. They don’t invite her to things anymore, I used the excuse that you don’t need an invitation but sometimes I think deep down they don’t want her there. We watched Minecraft together as a group and I could sense some tension plus my gf wasn’t that great anyway and the movie was abit shite. They barely spoke and only said a few words and goodbye. Even then I went out last minute to go out with them which again my girlfriend wasn’t invited too and I went to one of my friends house after visiting my gf messaged telling me she’s upset about that I went and how my friends don’t respect her or me and that I need to actually do something and not be neutral. I was afraid. I told her I needed think then I told her I’ll speak to my friends. More days pass and I actually muster up the courage to speak to them however, they said they ain’t racist and that i should know that they are not bad people and that my miss’s in short times shouldn’t judge on “jokes” that hold no weight. They also explained that they feel that my Gf is the rude and doesn’t interact with them. They said I was should feel comfortable to say if what I say upsets me or her but to not get offended if they say stuff in private and that the “small” racist jokes they make don’t define them as people. I said thanks and left the Xbox party i was speaking in but I was unsure of what to think. I told my Gf all of this she was upset and pretty much said that they should pushed off and were still being disrespectful and that jokes still hold weight and they are still rude and horrible. She doesn’t for me to around them anymore and said we can break up if you want to be around racist bigots. I’m left convinced. This seems like a no brainer but I would some advice i really love her but I’m afraid of being friendless please help me.