Basically I have 2 childhood friends, Maddy and Lexi. We grew up together, and stayed friends after HS. Now that we are adults we don’t really hang out or talk as much, because our life styles are very different, but we make the time to see each-other every so often.

This is going to be a bit of a ramble…

Maddy and I try to make time but always miss eachother with plans, Lexi is the same but she tries to reach out more I just don’t have much time to hang out, and when I do— I usually hang out with groups of friends at time to get the most out of it. I used to always invite Lexi, but she never wanted to and would sort of make me feel bad for going out for drinks and such saying it wasn’t her cup of tea, which I respected, until I realized she would always post going out to drink and stuff like that, but I ignored it and started hanging out at the park or places she wanted.

Lexi and Maddy have always kind of bumped heads, when we were kids it was funny, but now that we are adults it seems like their snarky remarks mean more than just jokes so they don’t get along like before.

About 3 months ago, we all went out for dinner and they had a small argument, sooo small that I didn’t even notice, but a couple weeks later I realized since Lexi invited me out but excluded Maddy from the plans. Maddy was aware but ignored it as it was childish, and Lexi often does petty things like that. Then, Maddy was hosting a dinner at her house to celebrate her one year of marriage and I was not going to make it, so I asked to make a small dinner at my place for her an her husband so I could show how happy I am for them. Lexi called me to ask if I was going to the celebration and I said I wouldn’t make it, but I did not mention the dinner at my place as Maddy had expressed she did not want anyone else to come since she rarely sees me and I agreed. When Lexi found out she basically expressed how upset she was and did not talk to us at all. We tried inviting her out a couple times but she ignored it.

Now on to the issue. Me, my husband, and a couple other friends are going on a mission trip we have been wanting to do for yearsss. We’ve been planning for about a year and will leave very soon. While on the phone with Maddy a couple days ago, I mentioned I won’t be able to hang out due to my trip. She was sooo excited and asked if it would be possible to add one last min person (her) I mentioned the flights would be expensive but nonetheless I would be so excited if she came as well. Now for Lexi, if I don’t mention the trip to her she will probably never be our friend again, but if I do and she comes my other friends won’t be too happy as she’s said things to me in the past that they don’t appreciate. I truthfully hate the thought of making her feel excluded and thinking we are doing it on a malicious intent, but don’t know how to go about it without upsetting everyone else involved. I need help!