My husband and I have been married for 7 years. My MIL has a rule that her kids and grandkids need to see her for Thanksgiving or Christmas every year (a rotating schedule). She says this makes it where we can see the other side of the family (my family) on the other holiday. She also wants us to go out at least once every summer and to have a big family reunion at a destination spot every two years for a week (we all split costs, she doesn’t cover it). We live 10 hours away, so every time we go we have to stay for literally days, and I have to use up my PTO. Same with the week vacation extravaganza (which also costs thousands of dollars and consists of 25 of his family members). At first I went along with this, but I only did so because I thought that was what she had to do when she married her husband. Turns out, they always spent the actual holiday at their place and never traveled to destination spots with the relatives. They actually barely traveled with their own kids when their kids were growing up. My husband gets pissed when another SIL (married into his family) puts up a stink about this stuff. But honestly, I don’t want to do it anymore either. I want to veto the family vacations and start having the actual holidays at our own home. My kids are starting to get older, and I want to enjoy the holidays with my kids in my own home. (Also, yes my MIL will be b….y if I don’t participate - she iced out a family member who didn’t want to travel to her Christmas gathering(hours away and with no hospital) when she was 40 weeks pregnant. She still hasn’t forgiven her.