AITA for taking my kids and disappearing without telling my husband?

I (32F) have been married to my husband (36M) for 9 years. We have two children, a 7-year-old son and a 4-year-old daughter. On the outside, everything looked fine—my husband has a good job, we live in a nice house, and from the outside, people probably thought we were a picture-perfect family.

But the truth is, behind closed doors, my husband was emotionally and verbally abusive. He never hit me, but he constantly belittled me, called me names, controlled the finances, criticized my parenting, and monitored my every move. Over the years, it chipped away at my self-esteem until I barely recognized myself.

What finally pushed me over the edge was when he started turning that same treatment on our son. He yelled at him for the smallest things, called him “soft” and “stupid” when he cried or made mistakes. I knew I had to get my kids out.

So I made a plan. I got a job he didn’t know about, saved money secretly, and connected with a domestic violence advocate who helped me put together a safety plan. Last month, while he was on a business trip, I packed our essentials, took the kids, and left. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, not even my parents, because I knew they’d feel obligated to tell him. I went several states away and I’m staying in a shelter for now while I get back on my feet.

Now, my husband has somehow found out where I am (I think one of my friends cracked under pressure), and he’s been blowing up my phone, calling me a “kidnapper” and threatening to take me to court. His family is messaging me non-stop saying I’m cruel for “ripping his children away” without even giving him a chance to say goodbye. Even some mutual friends are saying I should have at least talked to him first.

I feel like I did what I had to do to protect myself and my children. But I can’t shake the guilt—and all the voices telling me I handled it wrong are starting to get to me.

So… AITA for taking my kids and leaving without warning?