This is gonna be A LOT of context so bear with me.

I'm a 20F sophomore in college and I’ve been dating my boyfriend Oscar (27M) for over a year now. We met when I was 19, (he was 26 at the time) during my freshman year. He was professor in behavioral neuroscience at the university I'm currently attendin.

And before anyone jumps to conclusions, No, he was never my teacher I was taking a general education class in literature when we met at the time.

Oscar is incredibly smart, chivalrous, caring, and we share common interests like gaming and cooking. He's financially stable, earning about $90K annually as a professor, and he does real estate on the side, renting houses he owned for extra income.

And for a bit of background on MY family, I grew up in a strict conservative Christian family. My mother and I have a strong relationship but the same can't be said for me and my father. Let me preface this by saying that, I love my father but our relationship is very complicated to say the least. He was a very judemental, controlling, overbearing, strict authoritarian, to put it simply, he's an asshole, A GAPING ONE might I add and we just never saw eye to eye on things.

I wasn't allowed to date during my highschool years and I wasn't allowed to attend Prom because he didn't trust me arounds boys and I didn't get Straight A's like he wanted. Mind you, I got an A in everything except History in which I got a B. But that wasn't good enough for his expectations of me, nothing ever was.

Oscar was my first everything. First boyfriend, first kiss, first time. And he waited months before even trying anything because he respected my boundaries so much.

I made the decision to keep our relationship secret because I was afraid of how my parents, mainly my dad, would react if they knew I was dating a literal college professor.I still live at home because my college is only like 20 minutes away and dorms are expensive as hell and I just didn't like the idea of sharing a room with anyone. Sometimes I would lie and say I was sleeping over at a friend's dorm just so I could spend the night at Oscar’s, especially after bad fights with my dad.

Eventually my dad would find out. We were having a family dinner and I went to the bathroom and left my phone on the table. My dad saw a text from Oscar and decided it would be funny to read it out loud. I admitted the truth. He lost his shit, insinuated that Oscar was a predator and a creep, accused him of grooming me, said there was an inherent power imbalance, which was ironic considering Oscar treating me like an adult while my father treating me like a 5-year-old who couldn't think for herself.

My mom intervened and suggested that maybe it would help if they actually MET Oscar and got to know him. I had told Oscar about this and unlike me, he was excited to meet my parents but I warned him how much of dad could be sort of a prick. He said he could handle it but I wish a future version of me had stopped me and told me what was going to happen.

Oscar showed up to dinner with flowers for my mom. She warmed up instantly. My dad? Not so much. He was cold, passive-aggressive, asked super invasive questions about Oscar's finances, his career, his family, even questioned his citizenship (Oscar is American-born, but of Guatemalan it was descent). It was racist as fuck and highly inappropriate.

Oscar stayed polite and respectful the entire time. After dinner, I confronted my dad about it and he claims he was "protecting me" and demanded I break up with Oscar because "his roof, his rules." We didn’t talk for days after that encounter.

Then he “apologized” and said we should have another dinner to start fresh. I don't know why I believed that but Against my better judgment, against what my gut was me, I agreed.

Dumbest fucking mistake I've ever made.

The second dinner was even worse, my dad got drunk. He waited until halfway through the meal and then — in front of everyone — he leaned back and said, “So, are you fing her yet?"

I froze. I literally felt myself start shaking. I’ve never felt so humiliated, exposed, and disgusted in my life.

And then just to make sure he burned the whole bridge down — my dad pulled out a bottle of fucking birth control from his pocket (pills he found in my purse) and started waving it around, accusing me of acting like a "promiscuous little harlot" and saying I was "renting out my box to the first man who showed me attention."

He actually said this shit to me AT THE TABLE.

Oscar immediately stood up for me and told my father off. He said my dad had no right to talk about me like that and that only made things worse. My dad got up from the table and told him to get the hell out of his house and shoved him toward the door as my mom yelled at him to stop.

Tears burned my eyes. I was so fucking livid and mortified that I felt something insiden of me snap at that moment and my feet moved before my mind could process it.

Without even thinking, I slapped him across the face, so hard he stumbled back and fell to the floor. I told him I was DONE with his bullshit and that I was moving out.

My father, stunned momentarily, then screamed at me to get out, and without missing a step, I gladly grabbed whatever I could carry: my school laptop, some clothes, feminine essentials and left with Oscar that night. I haven’t been back since.

It’s been five months now. I haven’t spoken to my dad at all. Changed his contact name to "sperm donor" just so seeing his name wouldn’t trigger me.

My mom is still in contact and she says she "gets it," and that she's angry with him too but keeps pushing me to "be the bigger person and talk to him" She says she doesn't blame me for leaving but thinks I went a bit too far by hitting him and cutting him off. But every time I think about what he said about me — what he did — I physically get nauseous.

Since then, Oscar and I have been living together. He’s been nothing but patient and loving. He cooks for me, helps me with my school work and projects, bought things he knew I would love: comics and video games. He comforts me when I wake up crying because of flashbacks. I genuinely think he’s the man I want to marry someday.

After having time to breathe and process, a part still feels justified while another feels guilty for slapping the shit out my dad, even though I feel he deserved it for the way he embarrassed and mistreated me and bullied my boyfriend.

So, AITA for slapping my dad and cutting him off completely after he humiliated me and my boyfriend at family dinner?

TL;DR:

My strict controlling dad found out I was dating an older boyfriend. Invited him to dinner, humiliated him with racist/invasive comments. Second dinner, got drunk, made disgusting sexual comments about me and waved around BC pills he found in my purse. I slapped him, moved out, and haven't spoken to him since. Mom says I went too far and that we should mend our relationship but I don't want to and I feel justified. AITA?