I (42) work stressful 12-hour shifts at a hospital on an irregular schedule. I just finished a 4-day stretch and was really looking forward to getting some rest once I got home. My child (16) usually takes the school bus, but today they overslept past all their alarms. This has previously happened a number of times.

They came to me apologizing, saying they had slept through everything, and I was frustrated because I was exhausted and really just wanted to sleep. I told them they needed to start going to bed earlier (before midnight) because this keeps happening and that it was inconsiderate of my time. They told me they can't fall asleep early even if they go to bed early. I admit, I snapped at them and said, "You're not good for anything around here." I feel bad about that now, but in the moment, I was so tired and just wanted to get some rest.

I still took them to school, but I told them to leave their phone with me or I would "make a scene" in front of their classmates. They asked me how that would help, and I said, "It's not supposed to help, it's to embarrass you." They reluctantly left the phone with me.

After I dropped them off at school and got home, I was able to rest, and thought about it more. When they came home later, I asked to talk. They were reluctant to talk, and started crying. They said, "I thought I wasn't good for anything around here." I apologized for yelling and explained that I work long shifts and wasn't expecting to have to drive them to school when I was expecting to crash as soon as I got home. For some reason, they looked surprised that I apologized, but they apologized again for oversleeping and understood that they interrupted my much-needed rest after working for so long. However, they were still upset because of what I had said earlier. They said they weren’t sure if I meant what I said, because I’ve said similar things in the past during other situations. I told them they needed to reflect on the situation and how it made me feel, and not just how they felt. I also admitted that it was kind of true that they’re not really pulling their weight around the house and need to get a job in the summer (they have previously agreed to do so). After that, they just left the room.

I feel like I could have handled it better, but I still think they need to be more responsible and help out more now that they're older because I won't be here forever. AITA for snapping at them?