I (27F) teach 9th grade English at a public high school. This is only my second year teaching, and I’m still learning how to navigate sensitive situations, especially with students’ personal lives. I try to be approachable and understanding—I’m not the super strict type, and most of my students seem to respond well to that.

One of my students (14F) had been out for almost three weeks with no explanation. Admin didn’t say much, and nothing was marked as a medical leave—just “excused absences.” Some of the other students were whispering that she’d been “sent somewhere,” and eventually I overheard another staff member say she might’ve been in a psychiatric facility. I didn’t put much weight on the gossip at first, but it stuck with me.

When she came back, she was quiet, withdrawn, and just… different. She used to be more talkative in class, and now she wouldn’t make eye contact and stayed isolated, even during group work. I noticed it, and during class one day, I casually asked (not loudly, but definitely within earshot of a few students), “Hey, were you really in the psych ward?”

She froze. Didn’t say anything. Just stared at me, looked down, and went completely silent. I could immediately tell she was uncomfortable. Later that day, another student came to me and told me she cried in the bathroom after class, and now I feel horrible. I honestly wasn’t trying to be cruel—I thought maybe if she had gone through something like that, she’d want to talk about it with someone who cared. I realize now that might’ve been really naive of me.

I told a coworker what happened and she gave me this horrified look and said I was way out of line, and that if the student reported me, I could’ve gotten in serious trouble. That’s when it hit me how bad it might’ve sounded out loud, even if my intentions weren’t malicious.

I haven’t said anything else to the student since, and I’ve been keeping my distance, but I keep going back and forth on whether I was just being clueless or if I seriously crossed a boundary. I thought I was being concerned, but maybe I wasn’t thinking about her privacy at all.

AITAH?