I (24F) share a 2-bedroom apartment with my best friend from college, Dani (25F). We’ve been living together for almost a year, and we’ve been friends since freshman year. At first, it was fun—late-night movies, cooking together, inside jokes. But over the past few months, it’s gotten… really tense.

Dani has had five different jobs in the last eight months. She quits or gets let go from almost all of them—usually because she says she’s “over it” or they were “toxic.” I supported her at first, but it’s been a pattern since college. She jumps from one plan to the next and doesn’t really follow through on anything.

Meanwhile, I’m working full-time, paying bills on time, saving up for grad school. Lately, Dani’s been short on rent more than once. I’ve covered her utilities twice, and she always says, “I’ll pay you back when I get my next paycheck,” which sometimes takes weeks.

But honestly, it’s not even about the money anymore. It’s the emotional weight of living with someone who’s constantly in chaos. Our place doesn’t feel peaceful anymore. I come home from work and she’s either spiraling about a job interview, rage-quitting something, or talking about how she’s gonna start a podcast now or “just freelance and vibe.”

So, last week, I sat her down and told her gently but honestly: I think it’s time for her to start looking for her own place. I said I loved her, but I needed a home that didn’t feel like a revolving door of crisis. She got quiet, then said, “Wow. So you’re just ditching me when I’m struggling.”

Now she’s been cold with me, and a few mutual friends say I’m being too harsh. That “not everyone has it figured out” and that “she’s doing her best.” Maybe that’s true. But I also feel like I’m being dragged down, and I don’t think that’s fair either.