I F/19 got asked by my mom to join this diaspora group trip to a country in Africa. Now I do want to be vague because I don't want this coming back to me somehow lol but here's the story. My mom had asked me back in Feb to go on this trip and I didn't want to do it but I said Yes because I felt like I had too. As time went on we had to send in some stuff to the organization but I just knew it wasn't something that I wanted to do at all. It's not that there's anything wrong with this organisation but it's not something I see myself in or doing. The plan is to go to this country to get our citizenship. My parents are both Carribean so we have no direct ties to any african countries. I do know that obviously Carribean people are from Africa orginally due to slavery but like to figure that out you would have to do a dna testing and both my parents and their families from where we can record where born in carribean countries. I have told my mom I don't want to be apart of it but each time she tells me it's my choice but becomes visibly upset that I change my mind, so I stay. My mom (and dad) are very pro-africa and there is nothing wrong with that, but I'm not really as deep as they are if that makes sense. I also have a feeling that mostly older people would be going there. My dad, due to his job is not coming along so it would really only be my mom and I and a bunch of other people I've never met. The trip is coming up pretty soon but we still don't know the days of when this is happening (just the month) so I can't even tell my job the days I would need to take off. ATP I'm willing to just pay my mom the money back of the things she did spend her money on (which isn't a ton atp) and just say I wasn't chosen to go or something. I fear I might be the a**hole tho since I told my mom yes but I know it's not something I want to do and so idk what to do anymore. Please tell me your opinions even if it's blunt. Thank you.