AITA for being furious with my dad’s “conditions” for helping my family while we move in?

My husband (37M) and I (34F) are moving in with my parents for about a year. We have two young boys under 2, and this move is meant to help us save money and reset a bit—we’re planning to treat the space like a temporary hotel stay: bring essentials, sell/donate everything else, and really declutter and downsize our lives.

Before the move, my dad said he wanted to have a “talk” with us. I expected logistics or ground rules, but instead, it turned into something that felt condescending and humiliating. He actually said the words, “My house, my rules,” and laid out a financial condition that shocked me:

In order to live there, my husband and I must open a joint checking account with my father on it, and deposit every bill we would currently pay—rent, insurance, utilities, etc.—into it each month. He also wants a copy of every bill we’ve been paying recently and a breakdown of all of our debt so he can “see everything.” Basically, he wants oversight of our savings and our situation.

What really stings is that I had already told them our plan. I had been open about the fact that we’re moving in specifically so we could save the money we’d normally spend on rent and bills and come out of this year with a solid nest egg. That’s the entire point of this temporary move. I thought I was being responsible by communicating our intention clearly—so for them to turn that into “accountability” feels like a slap in the face. If I hadn’t said anything about saving, I could maybe understand them feeling the need to impose that condition for their own peace of mind. But knowing it was already my plan—and that I shared it—and they still felt the need to monitor and manage it… it’s a total gut punch. Like they heard me but didn’t believe me. Like they don’t trust me to follow through unless they’re watching.

I get that we’re living under his roof. I do get that. But this feels so invasive, so infantilizing, and frankly… controlling. I’m married, I have two kids, I’ve handled our bills on my own. We’re not freeloading—this is a choice we’re making to build a better foundation for our family. I’ve always been independent, and this has made it painfully clear why I’ve avoided accepting help from my family in the past. Because it never feels like actual help—it feels like surveillance disguised as generosity.

My husband is handling it much better than I am. He says my dad is just trying to help and I’m looking at it through the wrong lens. But I feel so angry. And sad. And small. Like no matter how much I grow or how much responsibility I take on, my parents will never see me as a capable adult.

So… AITA for feeling insulted and furious by these “conditions”? Should I be more understanding since it’s their house, or is this crossing a line?