Not sure if this is a AITA question because it hasn't quite happened yet. But would I be the AH if I didn't visit a relative before I leave the country?

If you want to know the backstory you can see my other post about being estranged from family and not attending Easter (it's very long).

Long story short I was financially stuck in a different country for years. No family helped. I had been isolated away from former friends (via abuse) in the years prior which limited my options. I'm sure I could have reached out even more. Some people hung up on me, did not reply to me, did not reach out to me, directed me to live with my abusive parents etc. My parents themselves tried to use me being stuck as leverage. If I wanted to get unstuck they had to essentially take control again of me. No, I did not even reply to that. So they left me stuck.

It can so easily be portrayed as oh I'm looking for handouts. You're old enough. Why aren't you supporting yourself. Or relatives say things like that to me and it messes with me. I'm a guy who moved out as a teenager! I never asked my parents for rent money. I worked multiple jobs at the same time sometimes to cover rent. Was always independent. If you read the other post, they were able to get control of me due to a health issue, and then broke me down quite a lot. And then where I was stuck was in a developing country with very low wages. I just couldn't come back. It's not that I'm some bum.

One relative though - the only one - actually was trying to offer his place for me. We didn't get talking right away, it was after a year and a half or so when I was stuck at that point. But he had such a wildly inaccurate view of me (which is a shame because I thought the earlier part of my life would have counted for more with him). He approached our conversations (we would have while I was out of the country) with so many assumptions about me.

If I had accepted his offer to live with him, I would have been going there with not much money. I would have been dependent on him and I wouldn't have been able to move out right away (once working for a while, God willing, I could have moved out at some point after some months). But surely it's some PTSD, but my parents lured me back to be with them in the past, under the promise of help (with my illness) and then assaulted me after a treatment and used my medicine and medical treatment as coercive tools to keep me in the house for years... so yeah.. I'm going to be a bit cautious and guarded before I go to live with a relative who is close with my parents, who talks to me without understanding my situation or understanding the need for my parents not to be involved or showing up etc.

I ended up not getting that help and I was in a different country for years. I then made it back to my home country without any of their help. I did it with my own money. And in the time back in my home country, some things have gone very badly. Long story. And the next step for me, seems to be leaving my home country (at least for now, maybe for a year). This time I actually have some money, a plan, and it is actually me making more of a choice this time.

But before I go, should I see that relative, who at least tried to offer a place? Even though he lectured, and didn't listen well, and if he had listened better maybe I could have gotten help. But to visit him before I take off?

I would prefer he see me when I'm stronger, and not beaten down like this. I'm living in a place that isn't ideal, where I get no sleep and there are some health issues in this place. I am looking rough after these past years. I'm also fairly weak mentally at the moment, and he could try to take advantage of that (maybe I am PTSD guarded) and he hasn't really shown understanding. Some of his most recent messages to me were still lectures about how I'm failing because I'm not with my parents (my parents have been rejecting me because they only offer an abusive relationship, and I met with them even after what they did to me, and I've been putting in effort, so it's not fair to put their abuse on me).

He is older and I pray to God we have a lot more time together, many years. I may be away a year. Ideally I go away, maybe for a year, live in better conditions, get myself stronger, clear my head a bit, then I can return again and visit him. But maybe I should visit now, in this rough shape I'm in, before I take off. Thoughts? Would I be the AH if I left without visiting him? I may visit him. I'm not sure.