My ex best friend of 10 years ruined any sense of trust I had in him. My ex childhood best friend (let’s call her Martha) reached out to my ex best friend (let’s call him Andrew) after 3 years of no contact. I had a bad falling out with Martha and she disrespected me by telling me I was confused when I came out to her. I had an emotionally codependent relationship with Martha and one day we just stopped talking over a minimal argument.

After 3 years of no contact with Martha, she reached out to my best friend Andrew. Martha and Andrew had not talked since high school, which was 6 years ago! I was dumbfounded at her reaching out to Andrew after all these years, especially due to the fact that they weren’t close whatsoever and were barely even friends in high school.

I told my friend Andrew to not respond to her due to the disrespect and hurt I faced in my relationship with Martha. I specifically told him to block her or to just ignore her message. I understand I’m not in the position to control Andrew but I found him responding an act of disrespect.

Andrew witnessed how hurt I was by Martha when it was happening… and even after all these years the hurt hasn’t dissipated. His reasoning for responding was, “just because” and “idk, I don’t really care”. Andrew thought it wouldn’t affect me if he responded. Andrew claimed that Martha has no basis in his life, so why should it matter that he responded?

Personally I felt highly betrayed by him responding to her message after I specifically stated that he shouldn’t, since she was involved more in my life than she ever was in his…

AITA for cutting off communication with him (6 months so far) or should I apologize for overreacting? There’s a lot more context behind all the shitty things Andrew has done in the past but for the sake of word count, I won’t go into detail.

So should I just suck it up and move forward or should I stick to my boundaries? I do miss Andrew a lot and we even have matching tattoos but something in my gut feels deeply uncomfortable with what he did.

Andrew has apologized but has made little effort to reach out in 6 months (after moving to a new city) and blamed my hurt in this situation on my relationship with Martha; stating that I still have unresolved feelings towards her, rather than feeling hurt by his actions. Which in this scenario, both can be true. Am I overreacting for going no contact over this?