I 29F have been married for about 4 years now, to 43M Bob. We have a son, 3, and a daughter, 6M. Ever since I got married, it’s gotten harder and harder to keep up with my family, with me getting busier with work and the kids and having ADHD (not an excuse, but something I’ve struggled with for a long time). My mom was upset when I told her I was on antidepressants after I was experiencing symptoms of PPD. After 3 months of taking them after my first child, she said “it’s been 3 months, you should be over it by now.” And after she found out I was taking meds for my adhd she was even more upset, especially after she found out I was pregnant with my second (I stopped medication after I found out i was pregnant). I struggle with object permanence (if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist) and it makes it even more difficult to keep track of what is going on with my family if nobody ever relays any information. I’ve tried to set alarms to call my mom at least once a week , and I do try, but she never calls me. I just found out via a family location app that she was in another city. When I called her to see what was up, I found she was half asleep, in pain, due to just having woken up from surgery. I called my older sister (she was at the same location that my mom was at) and she told me that my mom had just had gastric bypass. My mom has cancer and the meds she takes for it made her gain weight, so she felt the need to go through the surgery. I’m not mad about that. I’m just upset that she didn’t even say anything about it. It’s a major surgery, what if she had died? I dont need a day to day update, at least I’d like to be informed about the major things, and I do try to keep in touch at least once a week. But having her call me after the fact that she had the surgery, only to tell me the reason why she had it, not the reason why she didn’t tell me, really hurt my feelings. I felt like an afterthought, that I’m not important at all in her life. I know I’m married and have my own family now, but it’s not the first time I’ve been the last to find out something major in the family, and honey, it really hurts.