I (24F) have been friends with - let’s call her Anna (25F) for protection of her privacy - for 14 years. We have done everything together since the 5th grade. Witnessing our first loves, first heart break, future husbands and so much more.

Anna got married and I was her maid of honor; my ex fiancé being the best man. I feel guilty for that. He was not very nice to them leading up to their wedding and called her now husband a “pity friend”. That was said out loud while I was on the phone with her. I am defending her and her husband, and I was so broken over that situation. She wished he wasn’t the best man and I shouldn’t have influenced her into letting him have that title. But in reality she wanted him to be the best man. I was the one trying to convince him to say yes. I wanted whatever she wanted. I respected boundaries - even when she almost last minute told me I wasn’t going to be the maid of honor and her sister was going to be it instead. It was like that for a god bit. In the end she was happy I was there for her. I did her makeup, her mom’s makeup and her cousins hair.

Now let’s skip a few seasons.

I just had a baby. All throughout my pregnancy I was given so much support and love. Especially from Anna. She was excited and couldn’t wait for my daughter to arrive. Near the end of the pregnancy, she slowly stopped reaching out. I had my little girl and she didn’t come to the hospital. She ended up being sick and I totally understood why she didn’t come visit. I was very appreciative of it because it lessens the risk of my newborn getting sick. Now it’s after the holidays. We are both free from quarantine and she sees her. We had a great time. I haven’t seen her since then.

There has been countless attempts to hanging out but she’s always canceling. I’m honestly okay with it because it’s just more peace and quiet with my daughter and fiancé. Anna then just recently told me she was sorry for being so terrible at actually getting together. I told her in a short message how it has been making me feel. But then later messages me saying that she has been lying about how she views our friendship. She says hanging out with me is exhausting, started making up something about my fiancé talking bad about her husband - which him and I are both confused. He’s never said anything bad. Only thing he says is he wished they talked more.

Is this just what happens in long term relationships? Or just after having kids? I am exhausted from all this.