A little while ago, I came into some money - not a fortune, but enough that I can finally take care of a few things I’ve had to push off for years. I’m talking about upgrading my old laptop that barely holds a charge, maybe taking a small trip I’ve been dreaming about, and just giving myself a bit of breathing room financially. It felt like a rare opportunity to do something for myself, especially after being so careful with money for so long.

But then my sibling found out about it. They’ve been having a tough time financially and immediately asked if I could lend them money to help cover some bills. The thing is, this has happened multiple times before. Over the years, I’ve loaned them money more times than I can count. It’s always framed as a short-term thing — “I’ll pay you back next month” — but the repayments almost never happen. I’ve tried to be understanding, but it’s started to feel like a pattern.

This time, I said no. I told them I was finally in a position to handle a few things for myself and that I couldn’t keep stepping in to fix their financial emergencies. They didn’t take it well. They told me I was being selfish and implied that I was turning my back on family when they needed me most.

Now I’m stuck in that emotional gray area. I know they’re struggling, and I genuinely feel bad about it. But I also don’t think it’s fair to be guilted into giving up something I’ve earned — especially when I’ve already been generous in the past and rarely seen that effort respected or repaid.

So yeah, AITA for saying no this time and deciding to focus on my own needs instead? How do you draw the line with family, especially when you’re the one who’s “always there” and suddenly decides not to be?