Background: She (I’ll call her Susan) told me she often feels like she can’t talk without getting interrupted or ignored and that I cut her off when she’s talking and start talking to someone else. I know I talk a lot but I do let her talk though. She says when she doesn’t want to join a group call and says she’s awkward, I say “just get on the call” or “you’re making excuses”. She said I don’t respect her boundaries. And when she does come on the calls and I ask her what she’s up to or what she’s been doing, she says she has nothing going on in her life and I say I don’t trust her or believe her. She says she feels pressured. I’m just trying to open her up and trust people more. Susan does help me with assignments though. She’ll ask me questions and I ask her to share her work usually before I start mines cause she does start them early. And she does share them we usually have a Google meet to talk about it. And sometimes I’ll tell her to send me her whole assignment and she does. And then I would show her my work after I’m done. So we trust eachother in that sense.

Now the confrontation: I saw on Susan’s LinkedIn that she had physiotherapy volunteer experience and since we both were in the same program we would ask each other if were doing anything but Susan wouldn’t say she just says she’s not doing anything. I brought her in a group call with this other friend of ours (were a trio) and I told Susan about this and asked her why she lied and that she should have just said that she didn’t want to say what she was doing in the moment. Then I said “I don’t want to call you a gatekeeper but this reminds me of a girl that was gatekeeping her answers on an assignment and also grad school programs”. And she said she understands but that she just didn’t want evil eye and that in the past she knew people that she couldn’t trust and were jealous. And that she didn’t want to curse it by saying it out loud. And I said “I understand but I’m not jealous we have known each other for 2-3 years we should trust each other. I think we’re close at least from my side” and she said she knew friends for longer and still they weren’t trustworthy. And I replied with “what kind of friends did you have?” And then Susan said that her mom tells her not to tell people until it’s done and I said “I don’t want to put you on the spot again but you finished the experience long ago” and then she said she understands but was worried.

After the confrontation we met up at the university fair and I was more interested in physiotherapy now. Susan heard me say to an advisor that I had tutoring experience and Susan said “you didn’t tell me” and I said “it was on my LinkedIn” I think she was trying to say I did the same thing by not telling her but the tutoring is no big deal and I was tutoring just one kid and it wasn’t even related to our program. Then when I asked her about how she will get references for grad school she said she doesn’t think the clinic she volunteered at will help because she doesn’t work their anymore and that they don’t speak English well and I said “yeah I was wondering about that too maybe it’s easier to get a position if they don’t know english that much but it still is something” and that’s when she said “the physiotherapists know English it’s just the other staff”. Was I wrong for all this? I just felt betrayed that she didn’t want to share something with me. I told her I’m proud of her after the confrontation during the call. I just want her to be more open and to trust me. She seems more distant now. AITA?