I’ve been dating my boyfriend for seven months. We are both in our mid-30s and have six figure incomes, no debt, and sufficient savings. I mention this because the entire time I’ve dated this guy, he has not had reliable transportation. We both work on a military base so public transportation or Uber are not commuting options for us.

He claims he doesn’t have a reliable vehicle because he got in a not at fault accident that totaled his truck this past summer. He doesn’t think right now is a good time to buy a new vehicle because of the interest rates and impending tariffs. So, he has been driving around a 25 year old car that keeps having issues. For two months, he drove around in this car while it had a check engine light on. Then, after me nagging about this, he brought it to the shop. Ever since, it’s been having issue after issue. For the last few months, he has needed at least one ride a week while his car was in the shop. He has been relying on me for rides to work and he keeps wanting to borrow my car to go to lunch with friends or to leave work early, offering to pick me up later. This makes me feel stranded at work which sucks because it’s my car. I feel like he should just stay put and be happy he’s getting rides when I offer them. I kept telling him that I didn’t want to give him rides or let him borrow my car anymore but he didn’t really listen.

Today was the breaking point for me. I wanted to leave work early because I was sick and he was out for lunch for 90 minutes without telling me. While he got a ride to lunch, he didn’t have a ride back from work so I had to wait around until he came back so I could drive him home.

I told him that if we didn’t have good jobs, I’d be more understanding but that I will no longer be giving him any rides at all anymore and that he will no longer be allowed to borrow my car. He has a motorcycle and I told him to use that and he said he didn’t want to because he would have to change clothes when he gets to work. I told him that he is prioritizing convenience and saving a little bit of money over my feelings. I also told him that my 14 year old car is in good operating condition not because of random chance but because I maintain my car. I told him that I will not continue dating someone who can’t figure out how to have reliable transportation and that if he can’t figure something out (like buy a new vehicle) in the next week, I am likely driving away from the relationship.

I know this is me demanding how he spends his money which makes me feel bad and materialistic and that a relationship is about supporting each other during hard times, but I feel like he should just buy something. It’s been months!