To be honest, I don’t care if this comes off as racist. For a while now, I’ve noticed how comfortable some people in the Black community have become with being blatantly racist toward other minorities. Obviously, this isn’t everyone—but it’s happening more and more often, and people allow it because they’re afraid of being accused of racism if they speak up.

A little context about my friend (I’ll call her C) before I get into the actual situation. She’s made comments about how she hates Mexican music, saying you can’t dance to it and that all you can do is jump around. At prom, she sat down during every Spanish song. For Mexican Heritage Month (in art class), she made a BLM flag for the class project and claimed we’d already done enough Mexican culture stuff. Our school is relatively inclusive, from clubs that support most minorities to events that celebrate diversity and cultures. So, during Black history month, and other holidays that celebrate black culture, we have events and projects surrounding their community and history. She gets upset when spanish speakers go to her register at her job. Lastly, when two students dropped something in class, she muttered under her breath, “Mexicans” in an annoyed tone.

Now, I feel it’s important to mention that she is technically Hispanic—but I’ve seen her immediate family, including both parents and her maternal grandmother, and they are all Black. So I’m not sure from where in her family she is Mexican, but she has told me she is, despite this her family doesn’t speak Spanish (apart from some Spanglish words) or seem to understand the culture.

Now onto the issue. My friend C is Black, and my other friend (D) is Mexican. I wasn’t there when this happened, so this is based on what both of them told me. C called another friend a “b***er” (she’s a judgmental person, and I assume she meant it as an insulty joke). There was a small argument between D and C. In response, D decided to call C the N-word, since C didn’t see a problem with calling someone else a slur because she identifies as Mexican.

Now, I don’t use slurs—I don’t think it makes sense for anyone to use slurs in everyday conversation, even if the slurs are directed at their own group. I don’t see the point in bringing back that kind of negativity. HOWEVER, when they told me about this, I said, “Well… you did say it first.” C got upset with me because she knows I don’t use slurs, and she was just like, “Okay, whatever.”

Now I’m kind of conflicted. I know they were both wrong, but I also think that C needs to be called out for her hatred toward the Hispanic community. She’s very adamant that only Black people can use the N-word and has even threatened to fight people who use it. She’s received harassment warnings at school for arguing with people over it. So I just feel like she’s being hypocritical.

D has never said anything racist about the Black community, and she has never used the N-word outside of this situation. I don’t think her saying it was right, either.

TL;DR: My Black friend (C) has made racist comments about Mexicans, even though she claims to be Hispanic but doesn’t connect with the culture. She called someone a slur (“b***er”), and my Mexican friend (D) responded by calling her the N-word. I told C, “Well, you said it first,” and she got mad at me. I feel both were wrong, but C has a history of hating on the Hispanic community while being super strict about others using the N-word. I think she’s being hypocritical. AITA?