Okay, I know the title sounds awful, but hear me out first.

So I (38F) have been married to my husband Ian (38M) for fourteen years, together for seventeen. We have twins together, a girl, Camila and a boy Axel, both twelve, just two months away from turning thirteen.

Now, we've always treated my kids our kids equally, but Axel was always more problematic and tends to get angry easily while Camila was always pretty calmed and avoids problems. First, it was not really a big deal, we thought they just had different personalities and that was it. And for years, it seemed to be just that. Well, turns out, it wasn't.

At the end of last year, we found out that our son and his friends were bullying this girl for being overweight all across the year. I won't say how because it will make the post longer, but I will just tell you that it wasn't thanks to the school. We also know this started last year because I know the girl was new at school. I'm not sure how things work in other countries, but here, education is divided in primary and secondary school, and they began secondary school last year.

Anyway, my husband and I were of course furious at him and terribly dissapointed. Even more because when we confronted him, he didn't show any regret. We decided to punish him in ways we would never think we would have to. First, we told the mothers of his friends about what their kids had been doing, and we do not allow him to see them. We also took off his phone and play station away from his room, although we allow him to play only in the living room. During the summer, he was only allowed to go to sports or to go out with us. We also don't give him any money, and we decided to put him in another school, away from his friends.

I know some people will believe this is too much, but I don't think something as fucked up as bullying someone can be solved with not letting him out of his room for a week or something like that. I was never bullied, but I know from friends and from my husband that it leaves you heavy consequences.

Since so far things haven't gotten any better and our son refuses to listen to us when we try to talk him about why he thinks it's okay to bully someone and why it's wrong doing it, and thinks this is unfair, we chose to put him into therapy, wich he of course hates, but we will force him to go anyway and hope things get better and he actually talks to the therapist.

Our daughter was always close to her brother, but now she has distanced herself from him because she is actually friends with this girl her brother was bullying, and we've learned from her teacher that the reason why that girl is not alone anymore during breaks is due to Camila and her group of friends, who have stood up for her. We're really proud of her, not only for that, but also because she has good califications and has been getting better at hockey. She's just an amazing kid, polite and clearly genuinely kind. I wish I could say the same about our son.

Now, we've rewarded Olivia for this, we bought her a laptop and a guitar, since she always wanted to play it, and has started her lessons recently. When we gave her the guitar, my son, sil and mil where there, and my in laws took us to another room and told us we should stop already with the punishment and stop favoring our daughter over our son. We replied that our son needs to learn that such actions have huge consequences, and when he behaves like a decent person like our daughter does, only then we will treat them equally. But right now, he is far away from deserving the same treatment. But they replied that we have gone too far and need to stop, but we told them that this won't stop until he learns that what he did was awful. They think we're being too harsh on him.

I think we're in the right here, I've always been someone pretty stubborn, so I would like to get some opinions from people that aren't involve. AITA?