I'm 8 weeks pregnant and the past few weeks have honestly been hell. I’m scared it’s only going to get worse.

I feel nauseous 24/7, like I’m constantly recovering from the worst hangover of my life. I can’t sleep more than a few hours a night. I wake up drenched in sweat, then freeze. I’ve thrown up a few times, but the constant nausea and exhaustion are the worst parts. I can’t eat much, I can’t function like I used to.

Here’s the thing: this pregnancy was planned. My fiancé and I are getting married in early May, and since we’re both in our mid-30s, we decided not to wait. We were lucky—it happened quickly. So yes, I am happy about the baby. But I hate being pregnant.

To make things more stressful, we have a few pre-wedding events next week, and I have no idea how I’ll get through them while feeling like this. I also need to get my dress adjusted—it’s a tight, mermaid-style gown, and I’ve already gained a little weight, so it doesn’t fit the way it used to. Just thinking about all of it is overwhelming.

I work from home as a freelance virtual assistant with fixed hours, which helps a little—but I’m stuck in bed most of the time. I feel slightly better when I’m half-lying with my laptop than sitting upright, so that’s how I work all day. But it’s also isolating and depressing.

Worse, I was actively working toward my dream of becoming a freelance illustrator. I was building my portfolio, growing my social media, and reaching out to clients. Now I’ve stopped everything. I haven’t drawn in weeks. I’ve never had an art block before, and now I feel like my creativity is gone. It’s honestly heartbreaking. It feels like I’m giving up on my dream and losing a part of myself.

My days feel so gray. I lie down waiting for the nausea to pass, work from bed, and zone out watching dumb videos. I used to love reading, but now I can’t even focus on that. I’m constantly stressed, frustrated, and sad.

I also can’t do much around the house. I try to help a little, but my fiancé has taken on almost everything—cooking, cleaning, helping me shower when I feel too weak. He’s amazing and supportive, and I feel lucky to have him.

Still, I feel so guilty for feeling like this. Like I’m a bad person—or worse, a bad mom—because I’m not glowing and joyful like everyone expects pregnant people to be.

Has anyone else felt like this? Am I the only one struggling this much in early pregnancy?