So my fiance (34m) and I (30f) have been together for a little over 3 years. Our sex life has always been the only part of a relationship that has been hard. Otherwise. We are really great together and we communicate very well. We rarely fight. I can count on one hand. The amount of times we have actually argued and three of those fights were specifically about this issue. He struggles because of mental health and previous experiences with initiating sex and having sex. There's a lot of anxiety around the topic for him. But I have a history of abuse and sexual intimacy has been difficult for me to find again. However, he and I talk a lot about this issue and we agree that getting a marriage counselor involved isn't a bad idea, but he also has a therapist he sees regularly. And he has talked to her about this issue more than once and she usually gives him a lot of good ideas and helps him understand himself so he can better communicate to me what is going on in his head. The disconnect for me is mainly after going three plus weeks without sex from your partner whom you love and whom you frequently get hard for... When the opportunity presents itself, why would you not take it? One thing in particular for him is that he wants to know it's ok if we just make out a little bit or do some intimate touching that doesn't automatically mean it has to lead to sex right there and then in that moment. I'm more than agree with that concept. If anything, it's nice build up until finally we eventually do get a chance to do it. In the middle of a very busy day sometimes it's nice to just have your partner send you a sexy text or before you go to work give you a nice good makeout session. I'm not expecting it all the time or everyday or anything but having it every so often is nice and I feel it reminds each other that we're attracted to one another and it makes each other feel wanted sexually and desired. That would be perfect because right now I get nothing of the sort from him. I get told "I love you" and when I work really hard on my appearance because we're going out or something I get a very lukewarm "you look very pretty". And that is it. Those things are very nice don't get me wrong but I'm not an ugly girl folks! I don't want to get a bigger reaction from strangers over my own husband when I'm seen in a sexy tight dress. It sucks. The problem I have is that we have gone 3 and 1/2 weeks with no sex and after having the conversations regarding this issue (intimate moments not always leading to sex) he thought it was okay to reject me after finally trying to do something. Tonight we finally felt intimate enough that things started happening but when it came time to actually do the deed he just stopped and went to sleep. I'm sleeping on the couch right now which I never do and I know when he wakes up he'll be very upset because he will say we talked about this. He will say that we both agreed that it's okay to just have some mild intimate touching and it doesn't have to lead to sex. But after 3 and 1/2 Weeks of your partner not being intimate with you and finally show some vulnerability with you. Finally, you're touching her, finally the girl you've missed and loved is naked and in your arms. How can you just say no? How are you not chomping at the bit? I just don't understand. I agree with what we talked about but it's been so long. On a regular basis when a couple has a healthy sexual rhythm going like this would make more sense to me. But literal weeks of not getting to be with your wife and you finally are and you just... Say no thank you? EVEN THOUGH YOURE HARD AS A ROCK FOR HER?! Am I crazy like why isn't he dying to do this like I am? I don't understand and it really makes my heart hurt and makes me feel really rejected. I'm trying really hard to be patient and understanding and having a lot of conversations with him regarding this issue, but this is really starting to hurt. What am I missing?? What do I do?