Okay, I know this might sound trivial, but it’s really been bugging me and I need to vent.

So, I (37M) live with my girlfriend Jess (29F). Lately, she's been driving me crazy because she keeps eating my leftovers that I'm usually saving for lunch. TLC;Dr: Pregnant girlfriend keeps eating my lunch. We yelled. I labeled my lunch. She did it again.

For example, last week we got Thai food, and I ordered extra pad thai because I specifically wanted to save it for lunch the next day. I told her when we were eating, “I’m saving the rest of the pad thai for tomorrow, please don’t eat it.” I thought it was pretty clear. I put a sticky on it, saying "Lunch". Anyway, I get home the next day during my lunch break (I only live 5 minutes away, so it's even faster than fast food), I open the fridge, and the pad thai is gone, and I can see the container (WITH the sticky notes) in the trash. When I asked her about it (sometimes she'll throw my food away because she's pregnant and some smells will randomly make her nauseous) and she goes, “Oh, I didn’t think you’d still want it,” like it’s no big deal. IT WAS MY LUNCH. I LABELED IT.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. A couple weeks ago, it was the leftover pizza that I was really looking forward to. She ate it without asking, and I was like, “Okay, whatever, it’s just pizza.” I usually only eat pizza on special occasions because I'm lactose intolerant, so it wasn't a big deal. But this time? It was MY pad thai, I really wanted it, and intentionally ordered and labeled it. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. At this point, I even made a mental note not to order the extra next time because I am worried it might happen again.

When I brought it up, I told her I didn’t think she respected my boundaries and it feels kind of like I can't trust her, and she got really defensive, saying I was being dramatic. She said I was “making a big deal out of something small” and that it’s “just food.” But to me, it’s about respect and boundaries, not just the food. It’s about her not acknowledging that I made plans to eat that thing even when I put a note on it. I don’t feel like it’s a huge thing to ask for. It’s just simple communication.

Now, things got a bit more complicated because she started bringing up other stuff that’s been going on, and suddenly the whole argument shifted. She started asking why I was "avoiding the real issue" and accusing me of "deflecting" or "projecting." Then, she brought up (again) something about her twin (Jay) coming over a few weeks ago when she was out of town, and how I was acting weird about it. I didn’t think it was relevant, but I guess it’s been bothering her. I’m still not totally clear on why she cares. I thought Jay was Jess when he came by and we fooled around on my lunch break one day. It was a mistake, I said I was sorry. It was like two months ago.

Honestly, I don’t even know why she brought it up, but the conversation spiraled, we said some angry words, and now I'm left feeling like I’m the one in the wrong for even ordering the pad thai to start with. I don't know why I can't just have lunch. Ever since she got pregnant, she's been so angry. I didn’t do anything wrong, but now she’s acting like I’m making excuses for stuff. I’m just trying to make sure I can have lunch!

On Monday, I ordered more Thai, and I put it in the back of the fridge in a paper bag, so maybe she wouldn't smell it. She still ate it. I told her I'm not ordering extra anymore and if she wants some, she can order it. She works from home anyways. She thinks I'm TA because I shouldn't get mad just because "I just ate something in OUR fridge. You're supposed to take care of me!"

So, AITA for getting mad over the pad thai?

EDIT: Yes, I had sex with her brother. To be clear, I call him her fraternal brother because what she says. They were born identical sisters, but he transitioned a few months ago. Due to the state we're in, it's not likely he'll ever get the meds, let alone the surgery.