I, 23F, have a friend “T”, 24F who has been in a continuous string of bad relationships. The most recent one is a guy who has cheated on her twice that we know of and they’ve only been together about a year. Maybe I’m harsh but I’m exhausted by being around her and constantly hearing about how devastated she is only for her to take him back. 

I understand that there’s a lot that can explain why somebody keeps getting into these kinds of relationships and also to explain why this particular guy is not able to be faithful. Everybody has their own set of problems to work through at their own pace and maybe someday she’ll leave him or they’ll genuinely work it out and he’ll stop acting this way.

But I don’t have the energy to care or be understanding anymore. I was at her place yesterday and I decided to tell her that I can’t be her friend at this time because her decisions, even though they’re about her own life, deeply sadden me and I’m always crying along with her when she’s upset by something some guy did. She didn’t take it too well and said that I’m abandoning her which I sorta agree with. I am abandoning her but I just don’t want to be around this anymore. His friends are now “our friends” and they make excuses for him, and I feel like being around all this, in my opinion, unhealthy behavior, is taxing for me.

I guess what I’m wondering is am I wrong for temporarily giving up on a friendship that I do truly care about over this. I say temporary because I want to see her again at some point (a year from now maybe) but for right now I only want peace of mind. To be a good friend do I have to stay and support her even when I completely disagree with everything she’s doing.