My (18f) mom (40f) passed away six months ago due to cancer. Her passing has had a profound impact on my life, and my family, nothing's really the same without her. we're all grieving and will continue to grieve her for much longer, maybe even forever. she and i were really close and knowing she won't be there for some of the most important parts of my life is heartbreaking.

So anyway, with graduation coming up soon, all us graduating seniors recently got our grad tickets. every graduate is given 5 tickets for whatever friends or family they want with them that day. it's really common for students to ask if anyone has any spare tickets so they can bring more than 5. i am using all five of my tickets though: one for my dad, one for my little sister, two for both my maternal aunties, and the last one will be for my mom (EDIT: i will also be putting a picture of her and her jewelry box on the chair to commemorate her). i know it may seem kind of silly but i want to save a seat for her. i'm very spiritual and i believe saving a seat for her will show her how much i want her there with me, even if she can't physically be there.

my best friend, who we'll call jolene, is also graduating with me this year. for context her parents are separated and her mom lives in another state, and jolene didn't think her mom would be able to make it, so she already invited five other family members (her dad, two cousins, and grandparents). but her mom called her yesterday and let her know she bought plane tickets and was going to make the trip up. jolene is of course super excited as she hasn't seen her mom in over a year, but she's also out of tickets. so she asked me if i had a spare one, and i told her no, sorry, i'm using all five. she gave me this confused look and said, 'i thought it was your dad, sister, and aunts?' and i informed her that i recently made the decision to also use a ticket for my mom.

she kind of laughed awkwardly and asked me why. i explained to her my reasoning and how i wanted to pay respects to my mom by having a seat for her. she stopped laughing and this is basically how the conversation went from there:

jolene: that's sweet, but don't you think you should give it to someone that needs it more?

me: what do you mean?

jolene: well since my mom's actually going to be there, i feel like i need that ticket more than you do.

me: i mean, i do think my mom will actually be there with me.

jolene: it's not the same, though.

from then i got kind of upset at her and told her it was hurtful that she was insinuating she deserved my ticket more than i did. she told me my mom has already been gone for 6 months and i shouldn't be in denial anymore. i told her that im not in denial at all--i know my mom is dead-and that i just want to show respect for her, honor her, and have a space for her so she can be with me.

jolene basically got really upset with me and told me it's like i didn't even care about her or her mom, and started arguing that her mom deserved to actually witness it since they haven't seen each other in so long. i was straight-up mad and hurt at this point, so i bluntly told her that i was sorry she's already given away all her tickets, but that's not my problem and my tickets are mine to do what i want with them.

she called me selfish and claimed i was doing this just to hurt her. obviously im not, it's been my plan for about a week now, and it has nothing to do with her. our other friends are pretty split on who they think is in the wrong. i understand where jolene is coming from and i feel for her but it truly isn't my fault that she used up her tickets, and it's not my job to fix that for her. still, enough of my friends are upset with me and siding with her that i feel kind of bad and i'm not sure what to do. aita??