Some background: My best friend (let’s call her Emily) and I have stayed in touch with a guy we went to high school with — I’ll call him Jake. While we’re not super close, we’ve always been friendly and hang out when I come back to visit (I moved a few hours away after graduation).

Jake has always had little crushes on girls in our circle — including Emily at one point — but nothing ever really came of it. Lately, he and I had been talking a bit more — texting, phone calls, that kind of thing — just as friends, or so I thought.

On a recent visit, the three of us (me, Emily, and Jake) made plans to see a movie. Before that, Emily and I had tried to invite one of Jake’s friends (let’s call him Ryan), who I’ve always had a bit of a thing for, and who Jake has told me found me attractive. Jake got furious when he found out Ryan was invited — like full-on yelling at both of us. This was confusing because at that point, Jake hadn’t told me he had feelings for me, and it just felt really out of left field and over-the-top. Especially because Jake had also been encouraging Ryan behind the scenes — telling me the things Ryan said about me, hyping it up — all while treating me like I was in the wrong for even being interested.

Later that same night after the movie, Jake messaged me and confessed he had feelings for me. I told him honestly that I didn’t feel the same way. I’m not really looking for anything right now after getting out of a long-term relationship 8 months ago. He seemed to take it well and said he was fine staying friends.

Here’s where things went sideways.

Even though Jake had made some comments in the past about how he’d “kill Ryan and me if we ever did anything” (which he said before I even knew he liked me), I still ended up messaging Ryan.

We ended up hooking up. I asked him not to tell Jake, and I don’t think he did… Jake did know Ryan came to pick me up that night, but nothing more. Ryan told me he lied and said we chatted for a bit and then he dropped me off. So, I’m guessing Jake either didn’t believe that or figured something out anyway because a couple days ago, I got unfollowed and blocked, and Ryan ghosted me completely. I’m not super hurt by it since I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but I would have appreciated some clarity instead of just being cut off without a word. Maybe it was deserved?

I know what I did probably hurt Jake. I just didn’t think he was that emotionally invested, given how casually he seems to catch feelings for different girls, and how surface-level our relationship has always been. I never intended to hurt anyone, and I do feel guilty. But I also don’t feel like I owed him anything romantic, especially since Ryan was someone I had already been attracted to before any of this.

So... AITA?