So, to make a long story, I (F21) was in a relationship for a year with M22. I’d always had dreams of travelling and when I first met him, he’d be so lovely. He messaged me everyday constantly, and I felt so appreciated. Perhaps too quickly, we agreed to go travelling after two months together.

That’s when it started. It started with little things, hypercriticism over how I washed the dishes or hanged the clothes (not flattening them out perfectly). Or he’d ask to check my plate to see if I’d eaten everything. It could never be simply telling me how to do something, he always had to throw a personal insult in (for example, telling me I look stupid with the way I was exercising, as I had the form wrong).

I kept trying to make amends, I believe, and tried to do things better. One of the things he told me was that he was looking for a partner, not a daughter.

We stayed travelling, and the last year has had so many good moments, as well as bad ones. When he’s good to me, he’s so good. But the hypercritical comments were becoming too much and I couldn’t handle them anymore.

Furthermore, he started making comments such as wanting to cut parts of me off to see me in pain, asking if I’d ever wanted to kill someone, and once he reached for my throat. He started therapy shortly after that, but he’d still make these critical, put-down comments that made me feel like a child. I’d pull him up on it, and he would start saying he was a horrible person.

One evening, we were eating. I asked if he was enjoying the food and he told me he would if I cleaned my mouth. Later, I moved a bit of rice with my finger onto the fork, and he asked if I was ever taught how to use a knife and fork. The next morning in Peru I packed my bags and flew home. He was very supportive, and told me to take some time to figure things out, which I supposed made me feel worse in a way.

I guess now I’m in that stage of questioning everything. He was trying hard, going to therapy, and complimenting me, but at the same time, I felt like a guinea pig for his trial and error and I wasn’t sure if it was safe to continue travelling with him. We had some of the best times and I’m just wondering if I should’ve been more patient.

AITA?