So me (18m) and my mom (54f) live alone together and have been clashing a lot. I’m at the end of my high school career and I don’t think she’s handling it well. I have school activities and school that keep me around people a lot so when I get home I tend to hole up in my room. She knows this about me, I need my space because I feel like I’m around people a lot. But she is, I’m my opinion, a heavy hover mom. I’m her only kid and she’s getting very sentimental because she has told me she feels like she’s “it’s all going to end soon” just because my things left in hs are limited. The other day I said I was feeling overwhelmed about an event and said I didn’t want to do it anymore because the prep for it is mentally taxing as well as hard trying to juggle end of year school tests etc. But when she heard that she pressured me to do it still because “there’s only so many times I’ll get to see you preform again”(it’s a music thing). This kind of attitude about my things are the opposite of how I’m feeling. I’m starting to realize these stressful things that I’ve been doing has been doing me more harm than good. I’m trying to go away and she is clinging on to it.

But today I had an event that I missed because after school I passed out without setting an alarm and woke up after it had started. It was only a 20 minute thing where I would get an award so I missed it at that point. I left the house and went there but then decided to just go to a park and park there to be alone because my mom was texting a bunch of things like “I wish these things were important to you” “you’re my only kid”. So she’s upset and finds me via life 360 and confronts me and we get into an argument. The argument ends the same way every other argument we have does. We fight, she gets very upset, she storms off swearing she’ll never bother me again. My point in this is she is hovering over me too much when I’m at a point where I need to be more independent for myself and also to just not always be around people because at home it’s hard to escape her and if I say something like “hey I just wanna be alone right now can you leave please?” She blows up.

I see I could be the asshole for blowing off the award ceremony. But I think my decision to do that was just an accumulation of these kind of things that pushed me to just remove myself from my mom instead of trying to deal with her. We never actually resolve any arguments because when I try to walk away she blows up and then she gets to a point where she just freaks out and leaves. She doesn’t really know how to walk away until it gets to a point where everyone is hurt and upset. And then she acts like everything is fine when she cools down even though we didn’t actually resolve any of the problems. So this tension just builds and I feel like after years it has gotten so bad. We just aren’t really compatible kinds of people and it’s uncomfortable but unfortunately we have to figure it out before something happens that we can’t go back from. This drama is exhausting to live with.

I can be mean spirited, I’m not a perfect roommate, I’m late to things. But am I like a horrible person? I feel like I am sometimes but it’s hard managing all the aspects of my life especially when I have to epitome of OCD (it runs in our family she definitely has it) and high standards living with me. I feel like I can meet her standards and I’m walking on eggshells trying to avoid another argument.

Sorry if this is written unclearly I’m just kind of word dumping my thoughts to get them out. I just need some outside perspective.

TLDR; I feel like my mom is hovering over me with high expectations and we can’t figure out how to live with eachother.