Dear Reddit, this tea appears to have come out of a tacky soap opera and kicked me in the shin.

My dad’s side of the family is a little messed up. They are from a small town, and everyone knows everything about everyone. Not joking. Anywho…

A couple of years ago, my aunt Amy had to get surgery and due to a horrible reaction to the anaesthesia and due to medical negligence, she wound up brain-dead in a vegetative state. We (parents, sister 22 and me 26) were made aware as soon as complications started, dropped everything and rushed to the hospital to support my 3 cousins (all girls: 27, 24, 22) and uncle through what was happening… a horrible thing for anybody, it changed my cousins’ lives forever.

…

They were going to decide what to do about my aunt, but the doctors were fidgeting around the brain-dead subject since it was their fault; my uncle deluded himself into thinking he could solve it with experimental or new treatment. Back then, it seemed as though my uncle was in denial about losing my aunt, so we let it be when he decided he would take his wife home. He set up the guest room as an ICU, hired nurses and set everything he thought they’d need.

It was all very heartbreaking… until it wasn’t.

It took a couple of months, but dear Uncle Brad (60) started bringing his GF Brenda (43) into his home. My cousins live in my city, so it was just him and aunt at home…yes, same aunt he’s insisted on keeping alive in the guest room…

It turns out that he had been cheating for years, and my aunt knew, but my cousins did not. I think we can all agree that the action of bringing a mistress into a house with the wife in that state is disgusting.

As if he had gotten rid of the need to pretend to hide anymore, he started bringing “the woman” (nicer than my cousins put it) into the house, which crossed a line with the housekeeper (a woman saved from a bad family situation by my aunt) and so she snitched HARD. So, my cousins were then told by the nurses and the housekeeper that he’d been very freely going out with her immediately since the accident and the degree of the situation was made aware to everybody. Apparently, the whole town knew about the cheating; this was confirmed by THE group of old ladies that are like the town bosses (friends of my grandma).

A little context about Brenda: she is divorced with 2 boys (25, 22), she was very aware that my uncle was married, she owns a couple of shops in the town (is self-sufficient and doesn’t rely on uncle or anything), and she is polite, but every so often victimises herself over my cousins treatment of her to either garner pity or get her way.

I know; she was almost sounding put-together at the beginning of that sentence.

Facts today:

After 3 years “asleep”, my aunt passed away this past November.

My cousins had already dealt with losing their mom on an emotional level, but the sadness was renewed.

My uncle has always been very comfortable victimising himself, like such: “Oh! Poor me! My wife is unresponsive. Insert monologue about himself.” while in public… holding Brenda’s hand as he speaks. This has now evolved into: “Oh! Poor me! My wife died! Insert monologue about himself”, still holding Brenda’s hand.

Cringy to type that.

Now, as for my relationship with my cousins.

We are amicable. I have always been a little “weird” and tomboyish, I also have ADHD and, though unconfirmed, I suspect a little autism. I was shamed by them for being who and how I am since an early age (later found out that my uncle and aunt had taught them that because my dad moved to the city and I was born there, "we would always look down on them and judge them"). Examples of treatment: I’d miss social queues, and they’d pretend to whisper, but call me dumb loud enough for me to hear. At best, they would ignore me.

I think I was 11-ish when I stopped trying to get along with them. I would just go do my own thing or stay with the adults. This said I was NEVER nasty back, they were snitches and had numbers on their side; that was bad math for me. I’ve dealt with the topic in therapy, I am at peace with them. They, however, refuse to acknowledge they ever did anything to me. They are who they are, I wish them the best.

My sister was the same age as the youngest cousin and was a very girly girl. So she was adopted into their group as she had no issues socialising and ditching me for people with similar interests. Btw, she only remembers my cousins in a good light; not when they called me names, threw my shoes in the pool, made me sleep on the floor at their place, nothing. She had a pretty pink childhood, I’m partially grateful.

I think I’ve added all facts and a little bit of my perspective. I know this is all a long, one-sided recount, but today I am being attacked on all angles, and I am a little worried that I am missing something I should do or just being gaslit into thinking so. I would appreciate any bit of advice I can get.

Being clear:

My uncle is an asshole.

Brenda is not innocent.

My cousins are dicks.

My sister is close friends with my cousins.

Finally, on to today’s issue:

It’s close to Easter, and my whole family is getting ready for a trip. Yes, the whole family.

This last Friday, my uncle was invited to my home for a family dinner since he’s staying in the city until we all leave this Friday night. HE BROUGHT BRENDA… My parents had already made their opinions clear to my uncle about the Brenda subject. They were uncomfortable with the situation, not on board, but were adamant that “not our monkeys”. She introduced herself formally, brought gifts, made polite small-talk… overall it was a tepid situation. By this point, I am uncomfortable, but I am being treated politely, so I am polite back.

My sister came home from an afternoon out with friends and came to find THE WOMAN in our dining room… she was livid. Started throwing shade at every turn and finally excused herself to her room for a bit before coming back smirking.

Not 20 minutes later, the doorbell rings.

You guessed it. My 3 cousins arrived.

They said hi and got to work. They all sat around the table somehow and started manipulating the conversation so neither Brenda nor my uncle could participate. “They” includes my sister. They were throwing a very hard shade until Brenda said, “My love, I think we should leave”. Very obvious martyr façade she was smiling to go, but narcissistic uncle went along with it. Both left.

My parents were tired of all of this, bid adieu and went to bed. I stayed behind. BIG MISTAKE.

My cousins and sister started tearing me a new one for not participating or verbally abusing the woman. I told them that I don’t like doing that, that she had been polite, and I am still of the idea that the person in the wrong was my uncle. She is no innocent, but I was firmly staying out of this mess.

Their harassment continued until like 11 pm, when they gave up and went home.

Cousins are now harassing me on social media.

My sister has been mad at me since, exclaiming: “How could you?! You are unbelievable! What about solidarity?! Don’t you love our cousins?” Very, very often. I was very firm and comfortable with my decision, but it bothers me cause she and I started getting along like 5 ish years ago and have gotten specifically closer these past 2 years.

I am more than a little ill at ease with the situation and just found out Brenda is going on our 2-week vacation that starts this Friday.

Aita? Also, what do you guys think I should do overall?

I hope you can at least enjoy the drama.

Thank you in advance, Reddit.