It hurts more than I can explain.

We just started living together — it’s been three weeks now. A week after moving in, we finally got to set up our gaming PC, something we were both excited about. I let him enjoy playing for the first few days, and then I asked if I could play with a friend of mine on my birthday. That day, I also went out to have dinner with my parents because they wanted to celebrate with me. I came back home to him. Mind you, our sex life is great. We’re intimate every single day.

I recently found out my boyfriend was using live chat girl sites. I confronted him — and he kept denying it over and over, swearing on everything that he didn’t. But I checked the Google activity. It was all there. He searched, he visited, he clicked around. It was his phone, his account, his timeline. The evidence is solid.

And here’s the thing: he knows this is cheating. We talked about it before. I was clear. He promised me he wouldn’t do anything like this — ever. He said he understood. He gave me his word. And still… he did it anyway.

What hurts the most?
He did it on my birthday.

I was literally playing a game with my friend — something lighthearted that made me happy. And at the same time, he was in the same room doing that. I noticed he was in the bathroom for a long time. He told me he was pooping and was playing smash legends. I believed him that time. Now that I think about it, I don't think that's what he was doing. The betrayal cut so deep, I cried the entire ride to work on the LRT today. I couldn’t even stop the tears. My chest felt like it was being crushed. I felt so stupid for trusting him.

He keeps denying. Keeps saying he didn’t do it. But I know. I’m not naive. I know you need to buy coins to chat on those sites — maybe he already had coins, or maybe he just used what was left. I don’t know. But the point is: he did it. He broke a promise he made to me. The proof is there, no matter what words he throws at me.

And the worst part? I told him: If you ever do this again, just break up with me. Because I really can’t handle going through this pain again.

I’m not mad. I’m just deeply, deeply hurt. I forgave him because I love him, but the scar is there. And the timing... my birthday. That day will never feel the same again.