Last year was the first full year me (25nb) and my boyfriend (21m) were together. We didn't really do anything on the new years as he was in his home country. Then Valentine's Day rolled around and I gave him multiple things, he just said "I don't really do holidays". This became a pattern. I didn't care cause I liked doing things for him.

Well I didn't care until I did. I bought my own Christmas gift, wrapped it, put it under the tree, and opened it. It's a necklace that holds a twenty sided dice that's my favorite color and has a moon. This is because while we are long distance due to him being home we wave at the moon because there is a mirror on it. It's like we are looking at each other. This becomes relevant.

I get a lot of compliments on the necklace when I explain that story everyone finds it adorable. My boyfriend has taken pride in saying "yea, I got it for them on Christmas" even though he didn't. I've never corrected him publicly but it's been a bit of a last straw.

This New years rolled around and I didn't do anything. Then valentines was the same. He noticed and was confused. I was confused at his confusion. He asked why I hadn't done anything and I shrugged and responded "I just thought we weren't really doing holidays anymore," which is a bit snarky of me. He sulked for a while after this and said "I guess I'm just a bad boyfriend then..." which I rolled my eyes at which is again a bit rude.

To be clear this isn't about money. The necklace was 30 bucks. The last Valentine's Day gift I gave was 0. I don't care as long as there was effort.

He's grown increasingly worried about it and kept prompting me to do more for stuff. His birthday is coming up and I haven't mentioned plans, he wasn't grateful for the plans last year and he didn't plan anything for me. I had to remind him it was my birthday.

To clear this up first... no, he hasn't planned anything even after realizing I stopped. I just think I might be bad for not going about it in a more mature way. I fear I might be being petty or vindictive but I just couldn't have every holiday going one way.

Would I be the asshole if I didn't plan anything for him?