I (22M) visited my girlfriend (22F) last weekend. She lives on the other side of the country, so we have to plan our visits in advance. For the past three years, she’s been studying in the city I’m from, so we’ve rarely gone more than a few days without seeing each other.

The issue usually starts when she goes home to stay with her parents. She doesn’t enjoy being there, the house is a bit of a mess and her mom is a bit of a hoarder. When we’re there, there’s often tension and arguing between her and her parents, and she complains a lot while we’re visiting. It’s been difficult at times, but I’ve always tried to support her and be understanding.

This time, we visited her parents for the weekend, but I had to return on tuesday because I have lectures to go to, and I also have a planned cabin trip with my family next week. She wanted me to stay longer, skip my lectures and cancel the trip, because she says she needs support from me and that phone calls aren’t enough.

Today she told me she spent the entire day lying in bed doing nothing, and she said things like “why aren’t you here when I need you?” and “you not being here shows how much you love me.” That really got to me, and I’ve been feeling guilty for not going back. But we already planned to see each other again in two weeks, so it’s not like we’ll be apart for long.

I feel like I can’t drop my responsibilities every time she’s having a rough time at home, especially when nothing specific or urgent has happened. I understand that it’s a difficult environment for her, but I feel like her reaction this time has been a bit much.

So am I the asshole for not staying?