Me (F25) and my bf have been together for 3 years. His friend (f) of several years is having a birthday celebration this weekend, going out to dinner and out after (bar or club). When I asked her what the attire was, she let me know that this year she planned to keep it small, saying that it was only meant to be celebrated with her closest friends, and that she apologized that those plans got lost in translation. She said that she told her other friends this as well, that no significant others were invited. I was kinda taken aback as we almost always hang as a group and it was typical that I was a plus one. I felt like her and I were friends, at times more than those two.

They have had a friendship since they were both in high school, and I don’t have any thoughts or issues regarding not being comfortable with him having girl friends/ him caring about me having guy friends. We are both secure in our relationship and have never had these issues.

I feel like it is rude to not invite me. Not that he can’t go anywhere without me, or that I am entitled to be invited to her birthday, but that if there is a dinner followed by going out, and there was friends both men and women, that I was not included, at least in the going out aspect. I always invite her to our gatherings, we have celebrated her previous birthday with her, and I find it strange to invite a guy without his girlfriend if both men and women are in attendance. I respect and value his friendships, and would not want to cause an issue that would result in a fallout.

She said we can hangout another time and said that it was not personal, just that’s what she wanted this time. Am I the asshole for not wanting my bf to go, out of consideration for me? I feel like other girls in my shoes would also be bothered but I also feel bad because I want my bf to enjoy his friendships and get to be there to celebrate his friends. What do you think?