My mother in law has a 50lb, energetic dog. This family gets together multiple times each month; my partner has several siblings who all allow the dog in their homes despite all having cats. They will shut their cats in a room if there's any misbehaving from the dog, but they are happy to do it. They are constantly opening doors when the dog is over at his siblings', she does not pick up the dog's poop, the dog is not very well behaved, but they all get so excited when the dog comes over.

I (27F) been with my partner (32M) for 3 years, but I'm still the newest one to the family. I'm not cool with this at our home. We have a cat of our own, and I don't want to allow someone elses' pet into our house and potentially traumatize her. She could very easily get injured by such an energetic dog (it has nipped at others' cats before). Or escape with all the open doors. This is my cat's home, and I dont want her to be uncomfortable/scared ever.

Everyone in the family takes turns hosting gatherings for the family as they happen every month or so. My partner supports how I feel and we have offered to host numerous times "if they can find someone to watch their dog" to which they ignore us completely and ask if anyone else can host. I love having friends and people over, so it sucks that I can't have them here and it's honestly annoying as my partner has let me know that they told him they hope I "grow out of this once I've around them long enough."

The MIL is very close with the other partners in the family, but since I first established this boundary, the family has shown very little interest in getting to know me more they rarely include me in conversation and when they do it's short-lived. They have also brought up that all my partners past girlfriends have been fine with it. I have chosen not to go to a few gatherings, but I feel like it makes them judge me twice as much. Like I'm viewed as an evil dog-hating witch (I'm not)

This treatment from them has me questioning if I'm being too uptight, or if I'm valid in not wanting a dog to visit at our house?