I know the title sounds bad, but please hear me out. I (14F) had a brother (16M) who came out to my parents about being trans. I noticed small things, like them (what i will be referring to my sister as) painting their nails or mentioning wanting to grow hair out.

I remember them saying they were bi a couple of years ago, and I really didn't think too much of it and just accepted who they were at the time. We come from a devout Catholic family, I myself love the religion and fully commit to it, while they hate going to church and everything about the religion.

For some context, my parents and my MtF sister had a talk where they came out to my parents. I had just come out of the shower and I had eavesdropped a little bit. My parents were surprisingly accepting to their new identity. My dad and my sister had also fought over disrespect, and how my sister does whatever they want to do, especially late at night, screaming at their games or making food at the dead of night.

The day after, they had left a suicide note and a reasons to live list open on their computer. I didn't get to read it, but the gist of it that I got from my dad was that it was about how my sister felt like a girl from a young age and wanted to kill themself because my parents would never be able to support him, but they did so I don't really know what they're talking about. If it's important, they tried to overdose on Tylenol and ended up in a mental hospital for a week.

So, a week ago, before easter, I had asked them if they could take their nail polish off for Easter and for my Confirmation mass, in my opinion, a simple task. We would only be at church for a few hours and they could reapply the nail polish right after. However, they replied with a condescending tone saying they had the polish on for over a year now and it's not even that big of a deal. I just want them to not get bullied, especially where LGBTQ+ is considered to be so taboo.

During Easter they completely disregarded me and refused to take their big black jacket off during mass/the church service, sticking out like a sore thumb while making faces during important parts. It's probably important to mention that they are in the church's orchestra, but skips because they hate going to church.

To be honest, I really had no problem with it until they blatantly disregarded my wishes and made it so that I seemed unreasonable. But the thing is, they paint their nails in very bright colors, their left hand nails are striped in blue and orange while their right hand has a different color on every finger, from red to blue to pink to white, it's extremely flamboyant and unflattering to me at least.

I just want my special day of confirmation to not be about how much they hate church and to be about respecting me and my religion. I rarely ask anything from them, and they always seem to look down on me whenever I talk to my dad or my mom about our religion.

At this point, they're trying to prove a point that does not need to be proven. I think they're trying to make my parents to accept them and allow him to go to pride parades and grow out their hair and dress up, and they kind of do. My parents are extremely conservative and proud of being Catholic, so I know that to them, it's shocking that my sister felt like a girl. They are putting in so much effort for my "sister", but my sister never appreciates their efforts. They joined the GSA club at their high school, and participates in many pride activities.

My parents do their best to make them feel like they're loved, but in turn, I am yelled at and ignored by mainly my mom. My mom had favorited my sister and my dad me. It recently got even worse though. My mom constantly buys them expensive name brands but if I ask for one thing from one of the brands I'm suddenly spoiled and a gold digger. She never asks me if I'm hungry or if I ate, but when my sister comes out of their room for the first time in eons my mom suddenly hugs them and asks if they ate and stuff. It gets to a point.

I don't think I can support them because of the disrespect and pain they inflict onto me and my parents. I am not trying to be transphobic, I think it's less about them being trans, but how their personality changed and how they victimized themself on more than one occasion. AITA?