I (49F) have an older sibling (56M). When I came along, he already had told mom to take me back. He was set in his ways at a young age and didn’t like that a sibling came a long. He has had anger issues and always felt like he was getting the short end of the stick. Now mind you, our parents were very equal about everything. As much as you can be with a boy and a girl. My sibling was not with out. He has always been into sports and our parents always took him to his meets and games. When it came to gifts at holidays, they would spend the same amount of money on us to keep it as equal as possible. We had a good life. But my sibling was always an angry person. When I hit my pre teen years, he began to beat on me for anything that got him upset. He also would throw furnature such as chairs in a fit of rage in front of our parents. When he hit college years, he still would beat me up when he’d come home from university for a visit. I would be black and blue on my back. Our parents put their foot down and told him he is to not come back. And this was going to stop. The beatings stopped but he hardly came home at all. He graduated and moved even farther away. Which was fine. As the years passed. He had a family as I did. But he still lived far away. Our parents Would go to visit him and stay at his big large house he purchased. He had to have these nice things to prove he was doing good in life. But his temper and controlling issues continued and drew a wedge between him and our parents. They packed up one evening after an outburst from him. And never went back. He hardly came back to visit. And on one holiday visit he even had the nerve to complain to our parents about the lack of gifts they gave him. Now we forward to my parents being old. And my dad passed away with some health issues. We were preparing for his departure. But the shocker was mom passed shortly after. 8 days after Dad. He only came to see dad twice that year before he passed away. This is how this man was. As I was there caring for both dad and taking the load off for my mom. So he flys in and starts taking over for the estate and demands to me what is his and what I should give his wife. My parents left me my mom’s jewelry and my sibling wants me to give him half of what it’s worth including some pieces he wants for his wife. I told him I was not in the frame of mind to give away mom’s jewelry. And also it was given to me. Not for me to see it’s worth and give him half of what it’s worth. My parents also left their single car for my youngest child. And he wanted my child to pay half the cars worth to him. He got angry when I told him no and threatens me with horrible things telling me how miserable he is going to make this. And he will never talk to me when it’s done. He left me with emptying out mom and dads house in my own. Never lifted a finger. He drove here with his truck and took what he wanted and left.
Now here’s we’re I’m having the difficult part , I didn’t wish him a happy birthday. I am so over him treating me like crap and how he treated our parents. I know my mom is turning in her grave with his behavior. I miss them dearly. But for me to not reach out to him and wish him a happy birthday has been difficult to no end. The day came and went and I cannot turn time back. This is my way showing him F you ! And he can’t treat me like crap. Setting boundaries for myself hasn’t been easy. But I feel horrible also.

TL;DR! Am I wrong for stepping away from my sibling, and not wishing them a happy birthday
Sorry for the long story