My girlfriend (20F) and I (21M) have been together for just over 2 years, I work a standard 9-5 at a fairly physical job but after including my commute I’m out of the house from 7-7 and usually pretty tired. My girlfriend is an at home carer, on an average day she is out of the house from 7-2 then 5-10. This includes unpaid walking time going from house to house, when you include this walking time as worked time, despite being on a good wage she earns less than half of minimum wage.

She works usually works 2 days one week and 4 days the next as she has recently been transferred to a new company who prioritises pre-transfer staff (at her old company she would routinely work 12 days in a row). The problem comes from the fact that at least 2-3 of these days land on my 4 days off and as I am teaching my girlfriend to drive I end up sat in the car as she drives around and sitting a street over while she does her calls.

I also buy all the food as she has no money left after her bills and I occasionally have to cover the extra when her wage is not enough.

At this point, I am tired of never having money, I am tired of never having a decent day off, I’m tired of coming home from my job and immediately following her round to hers, not to mention I do all the cooking which adds more time to my day as well as being incredibly difficult to plan a meal that I will actually have time to cook.

Her company also repeatedly cancels calls last minute meaning wasted trips, put her in calls solo with clients known to have physically or sexually assaulted carers and has had 2 dementia patients attempt to stab her. They also have her walking through a local park known for rapes at night.

I love my girlfriend and I know she loved her job but for her good and mine I really want her to leave. I’ve mentioned this many times but every time I do she seems upset and just says she doesn’t know. I really don’t want to seem controlling but I really think she should get a full time minimum wage job and earn more money for less hours and most importantly have set hours and a safer job.