Hi guys, this is a long one.

So we've been together for 8 years (married for 6) and I'm not sure it's going well. A bit of background here: I am university educated in a niche field (very location dependent) and met her whilst I was abroad to study for a semester. We fell in love and we decided we wanted to make it work despite the distance. I had one year left at university so we decided to live with eachother afterwards.

First problem: she was totally inflexible to moving. Despite having a relatively low income job she didn't like (and living in her hometown which she always says she wants to move from!) she would not entertain any other option than me moving to where she lived (a tiny town in Denmark). The issues with this were that it was very difficult to get a job there for me (any kind of job!). This has always stuck with me because it made it feel like I was more invested somewhat?

After a few years of finding any job I could find — I finally got a job SEMI related to my degree. It wasn't the best but paid VERY well and we decided to buy a house. The job unfortunately did not suit me at all and was incredibly toxic. My wife also was almost jealous when I got the job as well? She started acting very cold and off with me... It's around this time that she had a big bout of severe depression.

I'm not going to go too into this as I don't want to be identified but my wife has extreme depression. 40% of the time she's ok but the rest: it's awful. I feel so bad for her and ive looked after her so much. It upsets me seeing her like this — she has done every possible kind of treatment as well. Everyday I feel like a monster for letting it affect me. The truth is my life has been mostly miserable for the past few years because I can't look after her well enough — and I also can't not let it destroy me.

Anyway... After a year of trying to sell that place we got it sold and I quit my job (I don't want to go into it but it was living hell and i had no option to find a new job because of the location).

We talked and she told me that she is willing to move wherever i can find a good job that i want to do. This was great news ! And made everything feel better as she was willing to move for me just like I was willing to move for her. However, in the past few weeks its become ''apparent" that move wherever... Actually means to one particular city in Denmark.. where i cant get a job. And she also wants to only work part time. She said she's ok with me working away whilst we(I) pay for an apartment in that city. It just feels wrong.

I don't know