So I 19M and my girlfriend 18F are both in our first time relationship and are still figuring everything out. We’ve been together for more than half a year and the question of sex has come up multiple times and when she asked if I’d ever leave her if she wanted to have a sex-free relationship. I said I probably would since I would deem such an intimate act as a way to express deep love with one you love. She says that she’s really hurt now that that option is gone.

To give some context, we are both virgins and unfortunately prior to our relationship she was once taken advantage of and is still rather traumatised by that. We have however engaged in other sexual acts and she says she completely trusts me. Additionally she often says things that are very, enticing(?). Things that you’d only say if you wanted it kinda, we are also quite talkative about sexual stuff and I sometimes feel the only thing stopping us is us being long distance. Lately she was talking about sex a lot and that she was very excited to try it with me but yesterday she did a 180 turn and asked the question seriously and said she was considering it.

I do love her, I really do, but I do not want a relationship completely free from sex especially if it is long lasting which I really do hope it is since I love her. So am I the asshole for telling her the truth about how I feel? That I’d stay with her for as long as possible trying to work through it but that if she did decide she never wanted sex that that just isn’t a relationship I want to dedicate myself to forever? I’d be happy to provide further context since I may have forgotten something so ask away and I’ll try to answer best I can. Would appreciate some advice! Thanks