My mom had a stroke when I (20M) was only 2 years old. She was on the stairs when it happened and it caused her to fall and slam her head so hard she suffered serious brain damage as a result. The stroke also left her with a lifelong disability. So she was very sick and very close to dying and the fact she survived was a shock to many but she was left forever different. I don't even remember my mom the way she was but my older siblings (22F, 23M) kind of remember.

Our dad became mom's full time caregiver once she was able to be released from the hospital. He has taken care of her every day since and only allowed my siblings and I to help once we graduated from high school. Any time before that he paid for specialist nurses to come and give him some respite so he could still be there for us and have a bit of time to relax and take care of himself.

My dad is an amazing person and my siblings and I couldn't love him more. We admire the hell out of him and we do all we can to be there for him as much as possible.

My dad's parents have a very different view of everything. They never supported dad taking care of mom. They felt he should have divorced mom and let her get thrown in somewhere. It was never something they kept hidden and for years we (me and my siblings) had nothing to do with them because dad did not want them poisoning us with their views. I don't remember the fights when we were young. I have heard about them. I know they were bad and my grandparents told dad he needed to get divorced and find a wife who could be a wife and not another child because becoming a full time caregiver at 26 was not something he should be doing. My dad strongly disagreed and he told them he loved my mom. He told them he would never give up on mom and would care for her until the day he died if he had to.

They even tried to set him up with women after he stopped talking to them. He kept that from us for years but we did find out and it sucked to see dad so upset over how his parents were behaving.

My brother and sister warned me after they turned 18 that our grandparents would reach out and would say sick stuff and I needed to ignore it or be blunt back because they really saw mom as trash who should be thrown away. Sure enough they did reach out and did speak about mom that way. They said dad should have left her in a nursing home and left her there because she wouldn't even realize and it's not like she'd really know if she died alone or with others around her. That my dad was so young when this happened and he wasted his life and his chance to begin again with someone who could be a wife and a mom for our family. I told them dad was more loyal than them apparently and didn't just discard people like trash.

They only reached out twice when I was 18 because of how I responded to them.

But all of us were at my aunt's house recently, grandparents included, and they started their crap again. My aunt told them to shut up or leave. They acted like my aunt was insane for not backing them up. Aunt said they had continued long enough. Then they tried to defend themselves saying they were the only ones who cared about dad and me and my siblings liked that he made his life miserable so we could believe love is giving up everything for someone. As my aunt was kicking them out I told them they deserved to be abandoned in a nursing home and left to die alone too, since they thought mom deserved that. I asked how they'd like that.

My uncle (aunt's husband) told me I should have left it alone and went a bit too far stooping to their level. Everyone told him I had a right to say what I did. But I kind of feel like he still might be right. I know my family loves me, hates my grandparents or at least has major issues with them, so maybe they're only concerned with me. But I do feel like I went to their level and ugh, idk, I feel like they deserve it on one hand but on the other I know it is an awful thing to wish for someone to go through. It doesn't help that my grandparents harassed my dad and aunt because of what I said to them. AITA?