So, here’s the situation. I (25F) moved in with a roommate (24F) about 6 months ago. At first, everything was fine, but slowly, I started to realize that she is extremely toxic to live with.

She’s always complaining about small things like how I leave a mug in the sink for too long, or how I don’t "share" my food (even though she never asks first). But the real issue is that she’s emotionally manipulative. If something goes wrong, she blames it on me and makes me feel like I’m the one in the wrong. She'll guilt-trip me into doing things I don't want to do, like rearranging our schedule to suit her or taking responsibility for problems that aren’t mine. It started affecting my mental health.

I tried talking to her about it a few times, but she would cry or make excuses, and I would always end up feeling guilty for even bringing it up. After a while, it just felt like nothing was going to change, and I was losing myself in the process. I decided to start looking for a new place. I didn’t want to confront her about it because I knew she would react poorly and manipulate the situation to make me feel worse.

I found a new apartment a couple of weeks ago, packed my things, and moved out without telling her. I just left a note saying I was leaving because I needed a change. I know it was a cowardly move, but I just couldn’t handle the constant stress of living with her anymore.

Now, she’s blowing up my phone, saying I’m a terrible person for leaving without talking to her first. She’s telling mutual friends that I’m being selfish and abandoning her. Some of our friends are even reaching out to me to ask why I didn’t at least have a conversation with her before leaving. I feel like maybe I should have said something, but at the same time, I didn’t want to give her the chance to manipulate me again.

So, AITA for moving out without telling her?