Yeah, I know the title sounds bad. But hear me out before you rush to judgment.

I (33M) found out a week ago that my wife (29F) has been screwing some loser from her gym. I noticed she was acting weird, suddenly going out more, guarding her phone, taking longer showers. Classic signs. I checked her texts (yeah, I looked, sue me) and bam. Nude pics, “I miss you” messages, even some cringe poetry this dude wrote her.

I confronted her and she tried to lie at first. Said it was “emotional” only, that they didn’t sleep together. Please. I showed her the messages. She crumbled like a cheap chair. Started crying, apologizing, doing the whole “I didn’t mean to hurt you” routine.

That’s when I lost it. I was furious, betrayed, humiliated, disgusted. I grabbed her and yeah, I choked her for a couple seconds. Not proud of it, but it wasn’t like I tried to kill her. It was a flash of rage. She was fine. Didn’t even leave a mark. She ran out afterward, of course, and now she’s at her sister’s, making me look like the villain.

Here’s the kicker, I have cheated before. Twice, actually. Once during our engagement, and again last year when things got dull. But that’s different. I never got emotionally involved. It was purely physical. I didn’t disrespect her by falling in love with someone else like she did with this gym rat.

Now her family is blowing up my phone, calling me abusive, dangerous, a monster. They’re acting like I’ve been beating her for years. Like ONE moment of weakness wipes away everything I’ve done for her, providing for her, giving her a life most people would kill for.

I know I’m not perfect, but I’m not some monster. I reacted to betrayal. She nuked our marriage first. So AITA?