Last night, my (m35) wife (f31) wanted to talk to me about some things that were bothering her. She mentioned an incident at Costco where the parking lot was full, she was starting to panick and I said we should just go home. There was a point where I brought up politics while spending time with eachother. Finally, I was told that I had changed subjects when she was talking and felt unheard. All these points I understand, and am thinking of ways to improve myself.

Here's the thing: I mentioned yesterday that i was unsure about talking due to being a bit intoxicated (she worked that day and gets off pretty late). This morning, with a clear head and thinking about our discussion, I mentioned that since I have had issues with being heard by her, we should sit down and talk and bounce ideas off eachother to help us both with listening to eachother.

She got upset with me and said that it's petty and manipulative to bring up my issues with being heard the day after she voiced her concerns about not being heard. She also says that every time she brings up a concern, I then also bring up a concern.

I feel that it's a bit unfair to say that i shouldn't have brought my concerns so quickly. I feel that I have complained for years about not feeling heard, and being ignored. I don't feel like any effort has been made after any of the times i brought up my concerns. I can't really argue against me always bringing up issues after she does as i don't remember, but I wouldn't contest that. I have Asperger's Syndrome, so understanding when and when not to bring something up is difficult for me. I will say that for her not listening to me, she does have ADHD and can't always help it.

So, AITA for bringing up my concerns soon after she brought up her concerns? What advice would you give for when my wife and i get together and talk about this.