Alright, here’s the situation.

I (35M) own a home in Marin with a really nice backyard — not massive, but it has a view, a deck, some trees, and we’ve done a ton of landscaping over the last couple years. It’s the kind of space people always comment on like, “You could totally host a wedding here.”

My younger brother (31M) got engaged recently, and they’re planning this “intimate, minimalist backyard ceremony.” A couple days ago, I get a call from my mom saying they’d love to use my yard for the wedding. She’s already halfway into the logistics — chairs here, tent there, etc.

So I text my brother to say congrats and ask about how they want to set it up — assuming, obviously, that I’m part of it. And that’s when he tells me, basically, I’m not invited.

His fiancée “isn’t comfortable with me being there.” No specifics. No incidents. Just vague vibes. For the record, I’ve never been anything but civil to her, though I have called her out before for being rude to service staff and kind of performative on social media. But that was ages ago and not even a huge deal.

I told him straight up: you’re not hosting a wedding in my backyard if I’m not even at the wedding. He said I was being transactional and petty, that it’s “just the location,” and that it would mean a lot to them if I could “separate myself emotionally” from it. Like I’m Airbnb or something.

Now my phone’s lighting up — texts from family, DMs from mutual friends, people saying I’m overreacting, that it’s not about me, that I’m “being the reason they can’t have their dream wedding.” My mom’s asking me to “be generous” and “not escalate things.”

But from where I’m sitting, this is pretty simple: if I’m not good enough to be invited, you don’t get to use my house like some free wedding venue. I’m not burning bridges here — I just don’t want to be taken for granted.

So: AITA?

-----

EDIT: Seeing a few comments calling this fake because “no one would actually try to use someone’s house for a wedding and not invite them.” Wish that were the case. I get it — if I wasn’t the one living it, I’d probably doubt it too. But people get weird around weddings. Entitlement goes way up, logic goes out the window, and suddenly you're expected to just smile and hand over your space like a venue rental with zero boundaries.

And no, I’m not leaving out some dramatic backstory. I’m not some unhinged villain brother. I show up to family stuff, I get along with everyone else, and until this wedding planning started, there wasn’t even real tension. I was as surprised as anyone when I found out I wasn’t on the guest list — I had to ask.

Believe it or don’t. I’m not here workshopping a screenplay. Just genuinely trying to figure out if I’m missing something or if this is as insane as it feels.