Hey guys, this is my first post to reddit, but I have heard a lot of stories of reddit on different platforms, but never posted anything, didn't even had an account up until now. So I have something on which I want an unbiased opinion. For context, I'm Ethan 20M (fake name), my parents and I live together, I live in a community where kids live with their parents even if they are adults. So comming to the issue, me and my parents have never been close emotionally, I'm not saying they are absive or anything, I have proper food to eat, good clothes to wear, they paid for my college, gave me everything I needed, but I feel I am not close to them emotionally, ever since I was young my parents used to hit me for small things, if I did something wrong they would scold me to the point that I began to question my life. And because of that I am very hesitant to share my problems with them, if I was playing and hurt myself they would scold me for not being careful, one particular incident was very disappointing for me, I go for walks at night after dinner with this friend who I have known since childhood we were in the same school and he still live near my home, so let's call him jake, so jake and I went for a walk as usual, we were walking across the footpath and suddenly there was a depression on the ground I got disbalanced and fell on my right knee and scratched it, it was nothing very serious just a small scrach, but when I went home and was cleaning up my leg to avoid infection, my mom saw me and asked how did I got hurt, I told her and she got mad and started to tell me "am I blind, can't I walk carefully" and went on and on about it for 10 min I don't know where is my fault in this. Another incident was when some relatives came to visit us, they got a box of chocolates with them and gave it to us, when he was handing it to my mom I was there, I saw the box was open from inside and a couple of chocolate compartments were empty, I don't know why he brought the open box, I don't know why my mom didn't notice it was open from inside, it was an expensive kind of chocolate around 15 to 17 USD, 15 USD converted to my countries currency is a decent amount, let's say in my country if u have 15 USD worth of my country's currency, u can treat 2 people to a good meal in a nice restaurant. Now the next day, I woke up a little late and heard my mom screaming at my younger sister, when I went there I say my mom had the same chocolate box in her hand and she was scolding my sister and accusing her for opening and eating the chocolates from it, (my sister eats up any sweets my mom keeps and asks not to eat it, and lie about it ) now my sister said she didn't eat those chocolates, then my mom saw me and asked me if I ate those chocolates, I said no, but my mom was having none of it, then I told her that the relative who visited last night gave the box as it is now, it was open already when he handed to my mom, but she was having none of it and accused me of lying and started shouting very horrible things, like "what would happen if u didn't get to eat, you would de or what", then my father came and started shouting too, he said you both will not get anything to eat until whoever ate the chocolates admitted to it. My parents were going to meet a friend of my dad that day and planned to take the chocolate box for them but when they found it open they were curious, I don't know why the relative gave us the open box and why didn't my mom notice it was open when it was handed to it. That day my mom didn't cook anything for us and went out with my dad to meet the friend they planned to go and meet, and before going my dad said to me "look what u have done, we got scammed for 15 dollars(didn't say 15 dollars, he said the amount in our country's currency) because of u", I realised that my feelings and my opinion is not even worth 15 dollars to them, when they left my sister said she was hungry and mom didn't cook anything, that poor girl didn't eat anything since she woke up. I'm not that good of a cook but I cooked some food for us. Now these 2 incidents are not even 10% of all that. Things like this happen like 2 or 3 times a week, when I make a small mistake they make me feel like I should not even exist or I'm a wrech who's born to destroy their life. It affected me and my sister very much especially me as they got very easy on her, because of all these comments and incident I experience serious trust issues, I couldn't make any friends in school, dont have anyone to talk or share my feelings and all, I always stay by myself, I don't date, I don't even know how long I will be able to hold it inside me, but I can't call it abuse as they provide me good food, clothes, they got me a phone, a laptop for college and I get to celebrate my birthdays but now at this point it all seem like they are doing all this to keep up appearances. I do not intend to sound spoiled and entitled but I can't comprehend what to feel about these incidents and I can't get myself to trust them, and whenever I try to share my feelings with them they just shut me down or start to shout and scold me, they used to hit me too but it stopped when I turned 14, but all those comments and stuff didn't stop. So I want to ask if I am overthinking about this or am I wrong to feel this way. I am sorry for making this post long, Its my first post to reddit. And I would like to thank all of the people who read and respond to this post and every reply comment either positive or negative is appreciated.