Some context: I (29M) live in a shared apartment in a Seattle with a couple of other people. One of them (30M) is a co-worker I’ve known for about 9 months now. We’re not super close, but we get along well enough. Our lease is up on June 17, and I’ve already signed a lease for a 1B/1B starting right after that. My co-worker, however, is planning to move out of state at the end of the month, and didn’t want to sign a lease for just two weeks.

He asked if he could crash at my new place from June 17–30. I’ll be on vacation from June 21–30, so he would have been staying there alone for 9 days. I started feeling uncomfortable. It’s a small apartment, and I would’ve been paying the rent for that whole time while he stays for free (he never offered to pay rent or cover any of the util bills while he was staying there. He really expected to stay for free). Honestly, I’ve had issues like this with him before where he’s been a bit too casual about using my things—breaking my things and not replacing them, taking my things without asking, not contributing to the apartment’s decor or furnishings. It’s honestly been a little frustrating, since a lot of the stuff in the apartment is mine: kitchen tools, appliances, furniture—basically everything. Usually i wouldn’t mind, however I felt like my co-worker did not take care of my things at all. There are deep scratches in my pans and dining room table, foodstains on my baking trays, etc. So given the carelessness he showed with my things, when he asked to stay with me, it just didn’t sit well. But, I did feel bad and like I should help him out, since he’s in a bit of a bind. I initially agreed, thinking it would be fine to have him stay, trying to rationalize that it would only be 15 days.

What really pushed me over the edge was when he asked if a friend of his, who I’ve never met, could stay there for a few days with him, during the week I’m gone. That seemed like a total lack of boundaries, especially since this is my new space that he would be staying for free. It almost seemed like he was taking advantage of my generosity at that point.

So, after that, I decided to tell him he couldn’t stay at my apartment alone anymore. I said he can still stay from June 17-21 while I was there, but after that he and his friend would have to find a new place to stay. I felt bad about it because I know he had to scramble for other living arrangements last minute, all while moving their stuff and working on big projects assigned by our company, but I felt like it was too much to ask. I haven’t heard much from him since, and it seems like he’s upset at me. I’ve definitely felt some passive aggressive energy from him these past few days. But I just don’t feel comfortable with how little regard he’s shown for my things and my space.

So… AITA for changing my mind about letting him stay after I’d initially said yes?