AITA For telling my dad that if he wants to grow up, I'll be living in my car?

I (19F) am the oldest of 3 daughters (well call them Harriett 17F and Hayley 12F). My mom and dad (44F and 45M) have always shown who they prefer amongst the 3 of us, and I am seldomly amongst the preferred. I've been told that it's because I'm essentially their "guinea pig" (by others I've confided in) since I'm their oldest, and maybe that's true.

My entire life, I've been the last priority. If there's chores to be done, my parents will have me do them because my other siblings are "busy" (playing on their phones or watching TV), even if I had just come home from my full time job in which I work 10 hours a day. If something is wrong and there's no evidence of someone else doing it, I'm the first to be blamed. If they all have had a bad day, I am the first one they take it out on.

I've never asked for much. I've never asked for financial stability (like money for schooling) or anything monetary. Much less anything else except to be fed (which doesn't even happen anymore since I'm essentially an adult), but my other two sisters are constantly getting everything they've wanted.

For example, when I turned 16, my dad told me that if i wanted to drive, I had to make enough money to pay for a car, gas, and insurance because they wouldn't be paying that. Which is fair, I wouldn't expect them to. So I got my first job and when I was 17, I bought my first car, a 2015 kia forte. When my sister Harriet turned 16, my parents guilted me into letting her share the car with me, at no cost to her. I had originally said no since I had bought the car, but I was told that I had a job, and could afford to let harriet borrow it sometimes, and that I was only thinking about myself. I broke down and agreed.

A rule was set was that we couldn't have a phone until we turned 13, and we had to pay for it. So when I turned 13, I had saved all my birthday money, and sold a lot of my art projects to buy a phone. Time flash to when Harriet turned 13, and was given a phone. Then to when my youngest sister Haley turned 12, and was given a phone as well. Cell service and everything for each. Meanwhile I was still using WiFi calling.

We were also told from a young age that we were going to have to pay for our own college/learning past High School. Also fair. I graduated in May of 2024, and immediately started a full time job to start raising money for college (I had some savings set aside; but I had just bought another car since Harriet kept hogging my other one, and my part time wasn't going to get me to college). I am still working this full time job, and am only 1/2 way to my goal. Harriet graduates in May of 2025, and was just accepted to her college of choice. When I asked her how she was going since she worked only one day a week for 2 hours, she smiled and said "mom and dad has a college fund for Haley and I." I was done and went to my room crying.

Flash forward to two nights ago, where... I may be the A-hole. I had just worked a double shift at the hospital (20hrs total) and gotten home. Obviously, I wanted to rest because I was exhausted. My dad does this thing where if you don't do what he wants you to do, he'll stare at you and shake his head in disapproval to really get that guilt out of you. Well, I looked over, and he was doing that shake of disapproval. So I said "yes dad?" To which he responded by gesturing towards the messy kitchen with his eyes and hands. I sighed and asked if I could please take a nap first before doing the house chores to which he huffed and started doing it himself. Another plot to draw guilt, making it seem like he must do everything himself. I calmly said that I would help him, but that I would likely break something if I tried doing anything at that moment. I was exhausted to the point of near collapse. Then I heard it. A little mumbling of

"All you do is care about yourself"

I looked over at the couch to see if anyone else had heard this, only to see Harriet and Hayley on their phones and devices. I got up to go and help dad, feeling guilty, but he told me to worry about myself and get out of his way. So I did. I reclined on the couch and fell asleep.

I don't know how long it had been, but I knew dad had moved onto the kitchen counter. I had awoken to the sounds of things hitting the wall and falling to the floor. I opened my eyes, and sure enough my dad was picking up my things off the counter (very few might I add, a pen and then 3 notepads and my phone), and tossing them full speed at the wall. I could have cared less about the pen and notepads, but he picked my phone up and threw it too.

I. Was. FURIOUS. I had worked my butt off for that phone MYSELF! I still had the same phone that I bought when I turned 13! I quickly got up to check on my phone; thankfully only the back glass shattered. But I was done. I screamed at him, asking why he would even do that. He shrugged, said "I asked you to clean the kitchen", then gave me a "well... what can you do about it" look. I yelled some more and made sure to point out how he had always treated me differently than Harriet and Hayley, and brought up all my points above. He just told me that I was different, and that it's not any of my concern. I started crying, and grabbed my Keys, telling him that when he grows up, I'll be living in my car, but until then, I won't be back. I went to my room, packed my essentials, and went to my car, where I still am at the moment.

So.. AITA for telling my dad that if he wants to grow up, I'll be living in my car?