I’m 22 and for the last 4 years, I’ve been nothing but supportive towards my moms decision to become independent of my abusive father. She got a job, she’s working towards her license but… she also got in a relationship with another man without separating from my father.

It’s understandable to do that with her current situation but the man she chose is a rude ex criminal that no one respects or like. He’s hurt my mom so many times, they argue constantly and she hasn’t hid her ties with him in our community.

I don’t like him, neither does my brother. She goes almost every weekend to see him and it is what it is.

However, I got into a relationship with someone who’s within the community and my brother also started liking a girl. My mom always tells us the same thing “forget it, no one’s gonna accept our family because we aren’t wealthy and your father’s an alcoholic”. It’s really discouraging and hurtful to hear that as a young adult.

She said those words to me yesterday too on the phone and I just told her how I really felt after 4 years. “Okay, I get it but then if you know how this impacts us negatively then why did you date that man? That is harder to explain because you’re still with him and everyone knows about it. I can explain the other stuff but I can’t explain this one.”

She wasn’t expecting it from me since I’ve been nothing but supportive. She got hurt. She said that I always told her to live her life and she never believed we’d marry people within our community. I told her this is just an excuse and she knew we’d marry within the community and at 50, she should’ve known better.

That was last night. My mom changed since, she told me I said what her mom told her and now I hold the same place as her in her heart. She said she wants to cut ties with me as soon as I’m married.

I don’t really know if I’m an asshole for my words but when your moms dating an ex murderer… I don’t feel like I was wrong for feeling this way.