I (F45) have a front yard with a lot of flowers and fruit trees. A lot of people walk in my neighborhood and some like to stop by my house and look at the garden. Sometimes I share whatever fruit I have in season. Occasionally some people who walk by will ask about picking fruit. Most of the time I let them know I'll pick some for them and I give them some. When I have big harvests I usually leave a bucket out for passersby and they can take what they need. In the past when I've said yes to pickers I've come home to totally stripped trees so I rarely say yes, and instead I give the fruit out on my terms. There's a family in my neighborhood who love my fruit trees. They always walk by and comment on them and mostly they seem nice but often they make it a point of telling me I have more than I can use. This isn't actually true because I do canning and also grow fruit specifically with the intention of donating to my kids' school and to food banks. I don't mind sharing but my garden is precious to me and I feel sharing is my choice. This family has a little girl and they asked me to let her pick because she loves the experience. They first asked about a year and a half ago. I reluctantly said ok, so that she could have the experience. When they picked it was a mess. They wasted fruit and broke tree limbs, and left squashed fruit all over the ground, but I figured it was just one time so I didn't complain. The problem came when a different fruit tree was ready they just showed up and helped themselves without even asking. They don't even care if I'm home or not. This also includes picking flowers. I've passed them while out on their walks and they just let her walk into people's yards and pick any flowers she wants. The little girl is sweet. It's not her fault but I don't think it's good manners. Recently, I stopped them when they were picking and asked them not to just pick without asking. The mom got upset and said I just forgot that I gave them permission. I let her know that I gave them permission for one time, not indefinitely and certainly not for every fruit and flower I grow. The father got upset and said I should feel ashamed to not share free food with a little girl who is just trying to experience what it's like to pick. I asked them why they've never planted anything for her themselves if that was important? The mom went on about how this is just being neighborly and I have plenty and it's free anyway, so why can't I just share. Truth is I can, but I don't want them treating my yard like it's theirs to do whatever they please in. I have my own kids and when I wanted them to learn about planting I planted stuff with them. I didn't take them to someone else's yard to harvest. The family was very upset and feel I'm being greedy. I do get enough to share, but am ITAH for telling them to stop picking?